Promise rings: good idea or not?

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Photo illustration: Abby Gilman/Iowa State Daily

Promise rings mean something different to everyone; some are pro-promise, while others reject the tradition entirely.

Wendy Sloan

Not all couples in a serious relationship are ready for an engagement. This doesn’t mean they aren’t committed and faithful to one another. In these situations, a promise ring can be a good option to symbolize their commitment.

Promise rings are the first step toward a serious relationship, according to Michael Gilger, owner and head designer at Gilger Designs.

“It’s a promise to be faithful and love someone,” Gilger said.

Justine Marshek, goldsmith and designer at Ames Silversmithing, agreed with Gilger. She said the promise ring symbolizes a “promise to love someone forever and to someday continue their lives together.”

Not everyone likes promise rings

There are varying opinions about promise rings, and not all of them are positive. Gilger said he thinks promise rings are the industry’s way to increase sales.

Jackie Gleason, junior in elementary education, has a similar opinion about promise rings. She said she doesn’t see the point of them. “Promise rings are a symbol that someone is going to loyal or faithful and that is something you should expect in a relationship anyway. If you’re going to buy a ring, you might as well save up for the engagement ring.”

Gleason felt so strongly about this that she told her boyfriend never to get her one. She explained that promise rings came up in a conversation with her boyfriend around two to three months into their relationship.

“I told him that promise rings are disgusting and I never want one. He was OK with it because it’s less money for him to spend.”

Gleason said that if a boyfriend ever tried to give her a promise ring, she’d probably ask him to return it. “I hope they’d know me well enough to know I wouldn’t want one,” she said.

What does a traditional promise ring look like?

According to Marshek, traditional promise rings are a single, smaller diamond on either a gold or white-gold band. These rings are typically worn on the left-hand ring finger.

With time, the look of the promise ring has changed. Instead of a single diamond, Marshek said that a promise ring could have a multiple small diamonds or even a single, colored stone instead.

Gilger also discussed a more untraditional idea of a promise ring. At Gilger Designs, the promise rings are “stackable, well-made and not pretentious. They won’t insult a woman’s intelligence with one small stone,” he said.

The promise rings he sells are smaller bands consisting of multiple stones that can be worn on any finger. “They’ll be in style forever,” Gilger said.

Are promise rings just a fad?

Gilger said his store doesn’t really sell that many promise rings. Part of his business involves making custom rings when customers request them, and Gilger said he doesn’t remember ever making a custom promise ring.

Marshek agreed that promise rings aren’t as popular at Ames Silversmithing either. “You don’t see promise rings as much as you used to,” she said. “When I was in high school it was important to have one, but that was 12 years ago. Now, you don’t see them as much anymore. And, sometimes people will get a custom ring instead. These aren’t necessarily a promise ring.”

Even though Gleason said she’s strongly opposed to promise rings, she said if a boyfriend gave her either a right-hand ring or a ring with a colored stone that wasn’t gifted as a promise ring, she’d accept it. “He could just play it safe and get a necklace, bracelet or earrings,” Gleason said.

How much should you spend on a promise ring?

Marshek said promise rings will vary in price depending on the size of the stone. She said you could spend anywhere from $295 to $1,000 on a ring.

“It’s a relative now. There’s a wide market of options, so the price and look of the ring isn’t set in stone,” Marshek said.