Summer vacation is over and so is the summer fling. You’ve bought new clothes, new shoes and you’re living in a new apartment or dorm room. If you’re from a small town, Ames will feel huge. If you’re from Chicago, I’m sorry, but Ames is about the size of one of your suburbs. But when 25,000 students arrived last weekend, Ames changed from sleepy Midwest town to wild college town.

Change is what college is all about. But Ames isn’t the only thing changing.

You are beginning the adventure of your life. Chances are, this is your first time away from home. You’ve left Mom and Dad with the younger brother and moved on to the big leagues. You’re living with a weirdo who talks to himself more than to you. To survive, you’re going to need to know a few things about Iowa State and college in general.

First: computers. If you bought a laptop for college, congrats. Iowa State has wireless Internet access in nearly all of the buildings and even in some outside locations. So take advantage of it. Sit outside and chat with friends online or Facebook friends from class. Chances are, you don’t know what Facebook is yet, but you’ll learn quickly. Just don’t leave your laptop out. They are easy to slip in a bag and people can run off with your entire summer’s earnings. If you didn’t buy a computer or need help after you’ve screwed yours up, the Solution Center is in the Durham Center near the library. They are usually pretty nice; they’ll wait for you to leave before laughing at you for spilling beer on your laptop.

Second: friends. Introduce yourself to everyone you see. Don’t worry; we already know you’re a freshman. We were there once, too. I remember the awkward conversations that went something like, “Where you from? What’s your major? Where you living?” You’ll have 379 conversations like that every day. Also, give people who aren’t like you a chance. If it’s color, race, religion or just hair color, give it a chance. You’ll be surprised how well a liberal from Minneapolis can get along with a conservative from Millville, Iowa. Yeah, I hadn’t heard of Millville, either. Meet international students, too. As an added incentive, if you’re good enough friends, they’ll let you stay with them (in Paris, London or Hong Kong) for free.

A few words about Facebook. Facebook is your key to remembering names. You’ll meet about 5,000 new people in your first week, and you’ll remember six of their names. Set up a profile on Facebook and remember names. Don’t add hot girls just because they’re hot. That’s creepy. Don’t spend all your time online, either. That’s equally as creepy.

Third: class. Go to all of your classes the first couple of weeks. It’s important not to rub the professor the wrong way before they’ve seen your exceptional ability to BS. You want to save that technique for later in the semester for ultimate shock effect. No matter what you saw on a movie, you don’t need to dress up for class. You don’t really even need to shower.

Fourth: Pokey Stix and the Rec. “Two for Tuesdays” are awesome. They taste great and they’re cheap, but you’ll look like a lineman after about two weeks of Pokie Stix. And that’s why I included the Rec in this one, too. You’ll need to keep running, lifting weights or playing basketball, soccer or even cricket to stay in shape. “Freshman 15” is a lie. It’s more like the “freshman 30,” so watch out. You can now compete in an ISU intramural sport for a championship T-shirt. There are all kinds of sports you can compete in individually or as a team.

Finally, the Cyclones. We are the Iowa State Cyclones. You now bleed cardinal and gold. When you see a Hawkeye, your blood boils.

Welcome to Iowa, welcome to Ames and welcome to your new family of Cyclones. Have a great semester!