“Getting By”

Daily Staff Writer

Dude, the next time you give yourself a massive headwound, try to make an appointment.

Your student death fees cover basic care, like magazines, condoms and overworked, disgruntled staff salaries.

This isn’t England, for God’s sake.

If you want that kind of commie healthcare, comrade, move to Canada or Belgium.

Oooh! The new People! Dennis Quaid and Meg Ryan are breaking up? Noooooo!