Spring is here and that means that it is time for one thing above all others: It is time for sex. Yes, it is time for sex and lots of it. In many parts of the world, people are naturally excited by the return of life and by the beauty of nature in bloom. In Iowa, we face two months of torrential rain and mud, relegating most activities to the indoors. It may not be as romantic a reason for constant lovemaking, but, on the whole, any reason will do.

People come to this university to learn a number of important lessons. Open any brochure and you can read all about them. Yet, one of the most important things people learn about at Iowa State is sex. So far, I haven’t been able to find this in any of the brochures, so I will right this wrong. The plain truth is that many people who come to Iowa State arrive as virgins, but leave fully trained in the various arts of love. Even those who arrive with sexual experience cannot help but learn something from all of the sex that goes on at this university.

It’s spring, and even Iowa gets some warm days. When those days do come it is always a joy to see the women in revealing shorts and the men wearing muscle shirts. Sex is in the air.

For thousands of years all kinds of ridiculous nonsense has been used to try to prevent people from doing what is natural. But the truth is that the urges that pulse through young bodies never lie. Sex is life, and it is the very meaning of beauty.

Of course, many people are not going to like this kind of talk. I once spoke with an alumnus who had sent his daughter to Iowa State for the sole reason that there is a row of churches on Lincoln Way. Basically, he’d managed to keep her celibate through high school (or so the silly man believed), but he knew it would take a lot of help from the churches to keep her pure through college. Pure? What does virginity have to do with purity? Sex is at the core of who we are. Virginity is an unnatural state, especially for a girl of 18. Fortunately, I have no doubt that even as I spoke to this misguided parent, his daughter was in a position requiring non-Euclidian geometry to attain. God bless her.

We are always told that sex and love are separate, but young people know better. Sex and love are different sides of the same coin. (For God’s sake don’t look at the tail’s side!) Even the most celibate relationships draw their passion from sexual desire, and there is a reason why we are drawn to have sex with the people we love. Sex is love and love is sex. They are not the same thing but they always walk hand in hand.

I don’t want to offend anyone but why should anyone be offended? I am constantly amazed when people are offended by nudity. We are all very familiar with our own genitals, yet we are familiar with the genitals of only a few other people. This is crazy. It’s who we are. Take off anyone’s clothes and you’ll find sex organs. If you’ve never met a person you didn’t like, that must include the genitals as well. So call this column a celebration of the genitals.

More than that, this column is a celebration of youth and love. It’s okay to give in to your desires. In fact, it’s right to give in to your desires. The only time people are really sluts is when they use sex to get something that they want. Sluts use people. People who have lots of sex with lots of people — well, call them sluts if you must but I will call them heroes. They are heroes because they do not tower over their sex like an angry father. People who have sex for the sake of sex are strong, because they are able to open their hands and be free.

If you are happy in a monogamous relationship, then that is fine, but be careful. Too often, people allow themselves to become complacent in such relationships, and before long the sex that once made life worthwhile becomes a prison. If you can break free with new positions and bizarre role playing, then do it. We are all perverts. But if it requires a tryst with some acquaintance give yourself the credit and stop being such a control freak. It’s a hateful thing to control yourself when all you want is to live.

By all means, use protection, but do not believe the lie that abstinence is the best answer. Sex is the best answer and always has been. The best way to avoid food poisoning is not to eat, but we must eat. Well, we may be able to survive without sex, but we cannot live without it. So, put down this paper, call your lover(s) or a trusted friend, and get to it. Can we get 100,000 orgasms by May? I think we can. Go Cyclones!

---

Brian Johnson is a junior in English and philosophy from Amarillo, Texas.