ISU AfterDark Review: BuzzFeed’s Matt Bellassai “Whines About It” on stage at ISU AfterDark

Sarah Muller

Students filled the Great Hall on Friday to see Internet comedian and BuzzFeed contributor Matt Bellassai, star of “Whine About It,” for ” An Evening with Matt Bellassai” at ISU AfterDark.

“I was just excited to come see the comedy and hopefully just get a laugh in,” said Emily Ramm, sophomore in elementary education.

Casually walking on stage in his signature button-up flannel and glasses, Bellassai sat in one of the two red arm chairs designated for him and the ISU AfterDark mediator where the night of questions began.

Q: How productive are you on your sets of “Whine About It?”

A: Bellassai confirmed that the BuzzFeed crew would try to film the weekly segment, in which he would “get drunk at his desk” and complain about various topics, at 5 p.m. on Mondays, to allow Bellassai to get in a cab and go home by 5:30 p.m. He ended up convincing them he could still do the work at 1 p.m. on Mondays instead, since he liked the lighting better at that time.

“I’m like a functioning alcoholic,” Bellassai said.

Q: What is your best and worst drink you have had?

A: During filming one episode called “The Worst Things About Fall,” Bellassai made an alcoholic concoction he thought was a recipe. Combining hard apple cider and rum to create what he called “RumCider,” Bellassai soon realized how awful the alcohol-on-alcohol drink was.

In college, his favorite drink was a wine called Carlo Rossi, which comes in jugs and is low cost.

“I’d drag a jug of that to my bed and drink it under my sheets,” Bellassai said.

Q: How did you start Whine About It?

A: “During senior year of college, I gave up on everything and got involved on the internet,” Bellassai said. “Turns out anybody can write for BuzzFeed if they want to… and then [BuzzFeed] can hire people based off of that.”

His first post was called “Olympic Booty Appreciation” and contained multiple photos of Olympic athletes who Bellassai thought had a nice body.

After being hired on at BuzzFeed, he started his own blog called Literally Matt, where he would discuss a different topic everyday. Since it was not taking off, BuzzFeed decided to combine the whole thing into a video series, which evolved into the popular weekly video series “Whine About It.”

Q: What are your opinions on Donald Trump?

A: Bellassai admitted that Trump terrified him. He then went on to describe Trump supporters as the comment sections of a bad YouTube video.

“I don’t know what to say about that orange beast,” Bellassai said.

Q: What would you do as president?

A: With three main points, he started with making Oprah Winfrey vice president. He then joked about the annoyance of babies on airplanes, and finished his presidential pitch by stressing the importance of making pants stretchier.

“Make pants stronger again,” Bellassai said.

Q: What is your perfect wedding with Harry Styles?

A: Bellassai is notorious for his obsession with Harry Styles. Pulling up Literally Matt on his phone, Bellassai referred to his first blog in which he wrote an entire itinerary for their wedding day, including the officiant being Oprah Winfrey, kneeling before the grooms, a 13 course dinner, a Beyonce performance, a cake that makes the pope cry and a 4 a.m. McDonald’s run.

Q: What was or will be your ideal job?

A: During high school, Bellassai admitted he was a nerd, adding that he tried to give up his lunch period to include another class to his schedule. He had preconceived ideas of what being a doctor would be like and approached his guidance counselor about the idea. However, after admitting he had a weak stomach, he quickly retreated on the idea.

“[Being a doctor was] kind of my dream job, but then I discovered alcohol,” Bellassai said.

Q: Have you ever thrown up from drinking alcohol?

A: Bellassai broke down his three vomiting experiences due to alcohol temptations.

The first time was his 21 birthday party in which he attended a bar that served pitchers of Long Island iced tea. At the end of the night, and after finishing off three pitchers of the beverage, Bellassai and four of his friends crammed in the back of a cab and made it one block before he threw up all over the people in the back seat.

The second occurrence was a week later, also involving Long Island iced tea. After a long night, he ended up at a friend’s apartment. Grabbing a slice of pizza, he made it halfway to his mouth before vomiting on the pizza, couch and friend’s cat.

The third event, Bellassai successfully made it to his bed after yet another rendezvous with Long Island iced tea. He puked moments later, which he said got all over himself and in his bed.

Q: What would be your spirit animal?

A: “I am my own spirit animal,” Bellassai said.

After a 80 minute interview, the mediator ran out of time for any questions from the audience. Bellassai grabbed his water and cell phone before waving goodnight to the audience.