Cyclone Rewind: Don Jon

Dalton Gackle

Don Jon was unexpectedly disappointing. Any movie featuring Joseph Gordon-Levitt paired with Scarlett Johansson should provide intrigue and excitement. It did not.

The acting throughout the movie was decent at best. Not even Gordon-Levitt could save the over-scripted dialogue and character personas. In fact, the acting was only uninteresting due to fact that there was no decent script or room for creative acting from a talented cast.

Let’s talk about the plot — there really wasn’t one. Most of the movie was Gordon-Levitt jacking off or thinking about it. The movie is just an uncomfortable experience in general. The actual plot is supposed to be that Jon is looking for the girl that will make sex better than watching porn. He dates a girl and comes to find that her type is not what makes him happy — he has to find a girl that he can lose himself in. (during sex, of course).

To make it more uncomfortable, that girl he finds is not a girl, but an aesthetically unpleasant middle-aged widow played by Julianne Moore. It is impossible to un-watch and un-feel the creepy and gross situation between Jon and this woman, Esther.

The movie also has slight commentary from the Catholic church, the lives of service workers and personal loss. These are nothing more than failed attempts to fill in for the lack of a major plot.

The only thing that saves this movie from being a one out of five is that Brie Larson’s character, Jon’s sister Monica, doesn’t speak for nearly the entire movie. She is almost completely uninvolved. She has one line where she reassures Jon that breaking up with Barbara, Scarlett Johansson’s character, was good for him in finding someone who can truly make him happy. The line is perfect due to the fact that it’s unexpected and feels genuine.

Unfortunately, one line does not make Don Jon a good movie.