Ethiraj: Use Tinder for hookups, not relationships
Photo Illustration: Kelby Wingert/Iowa State Daily
Looking on Tinder for relationships would be a further stretch than looking on Tinder for hookups.
September 11, 2014
Right, right, left, right and right. That is how a few days of my summer went on Tinder.
Tinder is a free location-based dating app that is available on both Android and iPhones. Users log in using Facebook, and Tinder starts displaying endless streams of photos based on the location radius, age range and gender interests provided. You have the option of swiping right on a photo to indicate you “like” a person or left if you don’t. If you and the other person both “like” each other, then the app allows both parties to start communicating and continue from there.
But here is the problem. Tinder is becoming more and more of a hookup app than it was originally intended to be. Given its enormous popularity on college campuses all across the United States, the app also poses serious confidence and self-esteem issues among its young user base.
People get on Tinder for various reasons. “I just got out of a relationship and felt why not” said Alyse Kjormoe, freshman in event management.
Allison Hulshof, freshman in English, got Tinder because she “wanted to feel more confident when [she] talk to guys.”
Using Tinder for the first time, I realized that it is more than just a dating app — it is an elaborate game.
Honestly though, Tinder is an excellent medium for one to boost his or her self-esteem. Imagine getting up in the morning and finding ten new matches — you automatically feel more attractive and confident about yourself.
Occasional self-esteem boosts like these are good but if it is the only source of escape from your insecurities, then we have a problem.
Not everyone ends up with several “matches” from Tinder, but that shouldn’t affect the way you see yourself. If all it takes is some filter-saturated photos and a clever one-liner taken from Google for someone to “like” you, then you are better off without one.
Admittedly, Tinder provides an opportunity to meet interesting people in your area who share similar interests and live less than a mile away. But you should be careful and realize what you are getting yourself into.
Not everyone is out there wanting to be your friend and ask about your day just because they find one of your five pictures visually appealing. There are some people who seek genuine relationships while others are just in it to seek what rhymes with hug me hey hey hey.
Tinder definitely eliminates the awkwardness and extra effort it takes for someone who is not comfortable in social situations to talk to another person.
“They simply hide behind their phones,” Kjormoe said, which is “OK” until both of you plan to meet in person and you couldn’t keep the conversation going.
Also, one needs to be careful with what they share on Tinder. Snapchat and Instagram usernames are commonly found on user bios but anything more than that could put you in dangerous situations. It is not that hard to find the phone number and address of “Sam, a sophomore majoring in English who likes smart and funny guys” when Iowa State’s StalkerNet is at your disposal.
Yes, Tinder is a fun and addictive experience to kill time when you are actively being matched. For some, a success on Tinder is simply meeting the person and grabbing a cup of coffee. But you should also get the hint of a winky face when you receive “What are you doing tonight ;)” and be prepared to handle that.
Tinder is also a common place to get catfished. There is no way to verify a person is actually who he or she claims to be. Because of this, Kjormoe approaches meeting the person slowly.
“I go from Tinder to texting or Snapchatting to talking over [the] phone and then finally meeting, just to be sure,” Kjormoe said.
One should also have a backup plan and have someone at reach if your date turns out to be a 32-year-old man.
In reality, no one is likely to meet their dream partner on Tinder. It is not designed to be that way. It is for young adults who want things now and right now with no strings attached. So If you are determined to find a true love based on five photos and a “clever” bio, then it is time to reevaluate yourself.
Tinder helps you decide “Yes, I would do this person” and nothing more. It does not portray the beauty of a character, personality or intelligence that defines a person. So not having as many matches as your friend on Tinder isn’t the end of the world. It simply means that there are less people creeping on your Facebook profile now — which is good.
Tinder is an addictive gamble, and you should be careful while playing. You should know when to quit, how much to share and how seriously you should take it. It is an interesting experience when you come across people from your floor, class or work and it gets more interesting when you have to decide left or right with your teaching assistant’s profile.
You will probably meet the person of your dreams in a bar or at a party sooner or later, but until then, it is OK to Tinder on as long as you are careful.
On a side note, while you are judging people left and right on your phone, just be aware that people around are judging you for being on Tinder if you are doing it in a public place. Don’t ask me why.