We are all familiar with the feeling of meeting new people, but living with a stranger is a different scenario. Building relationships is an important component to mental stability and emotional health. Here is a guide on healthy ways to build a relationship with your new roommate.

Communicate

One of the keys to getting to know your roommate is communication. Do some activities where you’re able to interact with each other. Whether that’s participating in outdoor activities, playing video games or going to an event, it’s good to understand the person with whom you’re living.

“If they’re new or if you don’t have a relationship with them, go out with them,” said Thomas Berry, senior in civil engineering.

Theresa Gruetzmacher, senior in interior design and architecture, suggests that readers should avoid activities that don’t involve interaction.

“Movies won’t be a good one because you’re not communicating. Go out to dinner, or maybe a walk around the park.”

Setting boundaries

Before moving in with a roommate, it’s important to lay the lines of what is right and wrong. 

“The most important thing is just to try, try to have those first conversations,” said Sally Deter, coordinator of residence life at the Department of Residence. “It may not be the best conversation but they will count in the future.” 

Deter recommended establishing any important rules of which roommates should know. If you are a cleanly person, remind him or her that you like having a clean environment.

Know the problem

There will be times where the boat will rock and when that happens, you want to take action immediately. Deter stressed that individuals should identify the problem once it happens, what the issue is and how they want the behavior to change.

“Whatever the issue is, the sooner to the actual incident, the better feedback they’ll get,” Deter said.

She also believes that the person who has a problem should be able to offer alternatives or suggestions on making the situation better instead of escalating it and taking anger out on each other.

Ending the conflict

It’s hard to understand a conflict once it begins, but working together to find a common solution is a positive and healthy way to dispose of a conflict.

Berry reaches out by suggesting that an individual should be calm and cohesive when addressing a problem.

“Make your point through your words and articulate, don’t raise your voice or be intimidating,” Berry said.

Berry suggests that readers should reach out to the problem in a mature way, and use the Golden Rule, treat others the way you want to be treated.

Using “I” instead of “you”

Sometimes there are more positive ways to approach people with whom you have a problem. Deters advised approaching a conflict with “I” statements.

“You are so messy, you never pick up anything, you never clean the room.” Instead of using accusations, alternatives could be “I like my environment to be more orderly because when I’m studying, if I see that there’s a mess, I feel the need to clean up the mess instead of studying.”

This won’t be the last time

It’s difficult knowing that this problem can really affect a person, but know that difficult situations will only make a person better.

“This isn’t going to be the [last] time that you’re going to be living with somebody, and it’s not going to be the [last] time that you’ll have a conflict with somebody,” said Brittney Rutherford, in charge of marketing communications at the Department of Residence. “If you learn those skills now, it’s only going to help you as you go in your professional and personal life.”