Recently, the spotlight has been focused on the NFL and the domestic violence disputes that have been coming out about football players abusing their significant others, or in some cases their children. This year at the Miss America pageant, one of the questions asked was whether or not former Ravens running back Ray Rice’s wife should have stayed with him after he hit her in an elevator.

This question seemed out of place in a Miss America pageant. There are many questions that could be asked, such as why the NFL is backing abusers or if there is a common trait among abusers. The wrong question to ask is whether or not the woman who was abused should stay with her abuser.

Miss Florida answered the question with a 20-second spiel about her beliefs and that she did not agree with the fact that Janay Rice chose to stay with Ray. That is her opinion, but the question being asked was out of line. The Miss America pageant has no right to ask a personal question about Janay. Her decision was based upon her relationship with Ray and is within her own privacy.

It would be just as unacceptable if the question had been about whether or not it was a rape victim’s fault for being raped because her clothes were too revealing. The fact of the matter is the question was geared toward Janay’s decision to stay with her husband, not Ray’s decision to hit his wife.

In many cases where blaming the victim takes place, people tend to be more focused on the decision the victim made after the incident rather than why it happened in the first place. Every woman has a different situation and it is her choice to choose to stay with or leave her husband, whether you agree with the decision or not.

Perhaps a better way to rephrase the question would be how domestic abuse could be prevented. According to Safehorizon, a website for domestic abuse help, 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men will be domestically abused in her or his lifetime.

Domestic abuse is something that happens often in the United States, and this is not the first instance of someone asking why the victim decided to stay. Quite frankly, it is none of America’s business if Janay Rice chooses to stay with Ray. Her decision is between her and her husband. A question that should be raised is what kind of punishment and reprimand Ray should face for hitting his wife.

Blaming the victim in any situation of rape, abuse or other violent crimes is the wrong way to approach the situation. After the pageant, social media questions arose about the appropriateness of the question being asked. It is good to see that other young people are concerned with the unfair blaming of victims and that pinning the blame on the culprit is in fact important.

We live in a culture where it is easier to ask a victim why he or she chooses to do something than directing the question at the person who committed the crime. This is where our culture needs work. The Miss America pageant is a prime example of what this country still needs to work on.

It is never the victim’s fault and anybody that has been abused should not have to answer for the decisions he or she makes in a relationship. It is the abuser that should have to answer for the choices he or she has made.