Q1: I have the smallest meal plan. What’s the best dorm meal to make?

A: Let’s be honest, you’re looking at a LOT of Easy Mac and ramen. And possibly high blood pressure. MSG, man. You won’t be making Michelin-star meals, but rather keeping healthy snacks and mini-meals on hand. You can take apples, oranges, bananas, and cookies from the dining centers to snack on when you are inevitably hungry at midnight.

Don’t forget that dining dollars come with every meal plan. The C-Stores have many things that you can pick up on your way back from class, such as frozen meals, Hot Pockets, soup, rice, and more.

You can also utilize your dorm kitchenette (if you have one) to upgrade your meals.

We advise getting a mini-fridge, microwave, and toaster to keep in your room. If you put googly eyes on them it will be like having pets. Also, lunch meat goes a long way. If you become a design student, then you have an added bonus of just forgetting that you need food for sustenance.

Q2: How do I succeed and make the most of my college experience?

A: You’re new at this. The most important thing to remember, as Mr. Incredible once said, “WE’LL GET THERE WHEN WE GET THERE.” There’s no sense in stressing out. If you do these things ahead of time, you will greatly reduce your stress level and make your time here more enjoyable.

Sit at the front of class. You will be less tempted to look up that hottie from the party you saw last night because they (or someone they know) could potentially be sitting RIGHT BEHIND YOU. You also get the experience of a lasting friendship with a kickass professor.

Make a schedule and follow that shit. Go to class, set aside times to study, arrange times to see your friends, and try not to blow off items. If you planned to study, don’t go out! But remember that you need a break sometimes too. Schedule it in. This will increase your productivity.

We know you’re scared of being alone forever. There are 33,000 people on this campus, and you WILL make friends. Some of them you might not even like, but they latch on like an octopus and you can’t shake them. Ditch your comfort zone and check out some of our awesome clubs and events. Leave your dorm room door open for everyone to check you out. Don’t be a person everyone hates. Remember that everyone is trying to find new friends at the beginning of their college career.

Q3: Can I handle a job during school?

A: Every person is different, some people can’t handle 12-credit semesters and pooping at the same time. Some people can handle 22-credit semesters while working 20 hours a week AND pooping in the toilet.

On average the student who has a work-study earns a higher GPA. Believe it or not, having a job increases your productivity. For example, you would know that you can’t procrastinate because you’ll have to work later. In addition, that extra bit of income is awesome to have. You will be assured that you can go to the movies, buy a bottle of booze, or go out to eat once in a while without worrying about your finances. Try to average 10-20 hours a week depending on your credit hours – too much working will start impacting your studies negatively.

It is our suggestion to wait a semester before starting your job. Secure a friend group, get used to living in Ames, and check out all the cool things ISU has to offer. College is expensive but you don’t need to sacrifice the experience.

Q4: How do you handle living with a new person?

A: Always remember that the stuff that annoys you about that person is probably equal to or less than the amount of stuff you do that annoys them. You both need your personal space, so try to be as respectful as possible!

That being said, there might be situations that are totally not okay and you have to put your foot down.

Ultimately, just remember that they are your random roommate and you don’t need to be best friends. You just need to live together without killing each other.

Q5: How do you NOT look like a freshman?

A: There’s really no good way to avoid looking like a freshman, but trying too hard is an instant freshman alert. Wearing high school apparel, the obvious freshman t-shirt you receive at DIS, the classic red drawstring bag, lanyard, or dragging a huge CyRide and/or campus map around: these are also red freshman flags.

Just remember that everyone here was a freshman once, and it’s nothing to be scared of. Most of us will be more than happy to help you out if you need help finding a class or want advice about something. To avoid carrying around a huge map, you can download the MyState app, which has CyRide routes as well as a campus map built in. After a week or so, you won’t even need a map!

Try to avoid bragging about your high school activities. No one cares and nothing you did in highschool matters now anyways.

Q6: How do I act at parties?

A: Remember that your schoolwork ALWAYS comes first. Also remember that drinking underage is illegal and can get you in trouble if you’re not careful. You don’t HAVE to go out, or even if you do go out you don’t have to drink. There are a lot of ways to have a good night in as well.

Now that the disclaimers are over with, it’s a reality that the majority of people on campus go out and drink on the weekends. A screaming drunk freshman is the first person that is going to get arrested, and you don’t want that. Know your limit, and always drink with a buddy who will watch out for you. Keep a reasonable volume and go out to have fun with your friends and meet new ones, not to find a one-night stand or get hammered for the sake of being hammered. (Unless you had a bad week.)

Q7: SEX???!!!

A: Yes, sex. It’s the topic everyone has on their minds. BE SAFE. Don’t be a fool, wrap your tool! There are literally free condoms everywhere on campus, and women can get free birth control at Planned Parenthood. The last thing you want is an STI or a baby. At least you can dress a baby up in cute clothes. You can’t dress up gonorrhea.

It’s very easy to protect yourself physically, but emotionally is where things get hard (no pun intended). If you don’t have an established relationship prior to the sex, it probably doesn’t mean anything to them and shouldn’t to you either. Don’t be a creepy weirdo and stalk someone about it. Let them approach you.

Remember that movie Coyote Ugly? Alcohol can make that a reality and you will chew your arm off to get away from the person you woke up next to.

Q8: What happens when I come down with the sickness*?

A: Everyone in this world starts out the same way: snot flying out of your nose, drool running down the side of your mouth, and shit you can’t control. It just so happens that life comes full circle when you become a college student, but this time you have to deal with it alone.

Your roommate and other friends will probably quarantine you to avoid the same fate–know that it’s nothing personal. College is a breeding ground for weird sicknesses that you’ve never been exposed to before, and even the best preventative actions can still fail.

So what do you do when you get down with the sickness? Be prepared. Already have tissues, ibuprofen, and an emergency can of chicken noodle soup stashed in a place where a drunken night can’t find it to consume.

Don’t be scared to take a day off, but take responsibility for that time. You need to recover, but so do your studies. Most professors will understand, just shoot them an e-mail that you’re feeling under the weather. Don’t be descriptive of the natural forces that are currently trying to force their way out of every orifice.

*Please refer to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09LTT0xwdfw