Take a blood sample from a random college student and you are likely to find the expected red and white blood cells, but intertwined with those cells will undoubtedly be tiny, brown strands of coffee.

It is true: Young adults are prone to live off coffee. How else would one expect us to wake up, get dressed and go outside — all in one day — without the assistance of a cup of joe? Shocking to many, but it is possible to survive without your little energizer pick-me-up. In moderation, coffee can be helpful. It will assist you through that test, late night or what have you. Do not mistake this slam as a slam to coffee’s indisputable benefits. Rather, take this is a scoff at the social agenda surrounding coffee and like-minded caffeinated drinks.

Not only are the majority of coffee drinkers overly enthusiastic concerning their addiction, but it also appears as if they feel and act superior to those who do not share their admiring position. This declaration of mine is not a whimpering decree of weakness on behalf of those who would rather drink rat poison than a cappuccino. Rather, it is a friendly alert directed toward the coffee lovers and the coffee fascists of the world — you are acting silly.

Many times I have been with four friends who, miraculously, decide in unison they are all craving coffee. When I politely state my dislike towards the beverage, it is I who receive looks of disapproval like I am somehow not educated enough to be hanging out with them.

Strutting around with a coffee in hand and a nose angled to the sky does not make you smarter, more adult or more hipster than anyone else. Quite the contrary, you look like a conformist. Coffee has become a symbol of maturity, thanks to the media always pairing it with successful, busy bodies who have places to go and things to do. And this depiction has led people to take up the habit not because of an honest lust, but because of a subtle peer pressure.

To be fair, I have come to the edge of falling into such temptation. One of my favorite television shows, Twin Peaks — I understand this reference will escape most readers,— ritualizes coffee to the point of satire. In order to fit in with Dale Cooper and the gang, I gave the coffee lifestyle another shot, but alas, my mouth revolted at the first drop.

This led me to wonder: How many people are faking their morning bliss just to be included in America’s norm? I am here to tell you it is okay to throw down the coffee and disassociate with the trend because there is a rebellion of tea-drinkers and good ol’ fashion water-lovers brewing on our city streets. Trust me, if I can defeat my desire to live like a Twin Peaks character, you can sidestep the country’s coffee squeeze.

But truthfully, I feel like Twin Peaks has guided me in addressing this issue. By satirizing the whole coffee sensation, it opened my eyes to how people place too much importance on their java. Believe it or not, it is you who aces the test, not your coffee. It is your hard work that should be honored and not some four-dollar serving of caffeine. Also, the only signs of maturing coffee grants you are stained teeth and an acceleration of heartbeats.

All things considered, I admire the coffee industry and respect them quenching the thirsty, little mice that are American college students. And I wish no harm on their business since that would be akin to telling Iowa farmers to stop growing corn because hipsters like corn. This is a country of freedom, and on that front, everyone who wants to drink coffee ought to drink as much coffee as they wish. Conversely, you are not any less of a person if you loathe coffee, so not drinking coffee is an awesome way to exercise your freedom, too.