I need to preface this review with the fact that while I have never been into “Adventure Time,” I do see its appeal. The sense of humor of the game is certainly unique, but unfortunately you do not see enough of it in my opinion. 

I do not know how the PC or console versions of this game work. One of the points in favor of the game is the ability to close the 3DS and put it in my pocket, pulling it out for a bus ride and tackling another floor of the dungeon. 

The game play is atrocious, and what is worse is that it is so close. The game is supposed to be a “Diablo”-style dungeon crawler and never before has crawl been a more appropriate term. The game has absolutely no excuse to run this slowly. While handheld gaming is suited more toward slowly-paced games, like “Pokemon” or “Fire Emblem,” there is no reason that your character has to move that slowly on the screen. 

In this game, you have your selection of characters who I will try to explain to people who are not fans of the series: Jake, a transforming dog, a cinnamon bun and a floating vampire girl. The only problem with this roster is that the vampire girl is absolutely overpowered because she can float over all the gaps and puddles in the floor. 

They give all of the characters drawbacks, like the very strong cinnamon bun being even slower than the other characters. Marcalene, the vampire girl, has less health and does less damage. This would be a downside if you could not very cheaply buy health upgrades and equip weapons that do equal damage between all characters, like the ice sword. 

You enter the dungeon with the sole goal of making it down to the next floor. There are health pickups, money you can spend outside of the dungeon, and weapons ranging from useless to “Why would I need anything else?” The world outside the dungeon is limited to just shops and character selection. 

You have to spend all of your money because all of your money is taken away from you for “tax reasons” as Princess Bubblegum tells you. Kind of like “Rogue Legacy” except you replace the ominous Charon with a pink haired idiot who cannot help you save her stupid kingdom. 

There is not much to the game other than that. Find a key, pick it up because sometimes the door to the floor below is locked and the game does a horrible job of laying out its randomly generated maps. The prison levels drag on forever and finally changes to an ice themed level five stages after the textures started aggravating me. 

The story is laughably bad, but that is intentional. Bubblegum informs your team that her prisoners, who she is trying to keep underneath her city for eternity are trying to escape. You have to go kill them all… but they’re skeletons so I guess its OK. The cut-scenes purposely look like they came from an early 1990s DOS game.

I stopped playing the game because I ran out of speed boost tokens and once that hit zero I could not even bring myself to grind for more. I was having fun with this game for awhile, but that feeling dissolved as the game grinds you down and actively attempts to drive you insane with its garbage level design, awful game play, and even though the graphics are not terrible to look at, the game is not worth your time.

One last thing; They couldn’t come up with anything to do with the touchscreen, so a Gameboy color with a face stares into your soul the entire time. I can’t recommend this game except to people who can handle a modern game with the pacing of the original Pokemon. If you are unsure of whether you can or not, the answer is “No.”

2/5