If you are having little to no success in improving your lot in life, maybe it might be time for a personal responsibility assessment.

Human nature being what it is, people tend to blame someone or something else when bad things happen. We might see ourselves as victims of circumstances that are beyond our ability to control. We have heard the excuses many times before; we might have even made some of them.

More than a few come immediately to mind. “The economy tanked and that’s why I can’t get a job.” “My marriage failed because we drifted apart.” Then there is the one I once used: “I got poor grades because I just couldn’t grasp the material or understand the teacher.”

Even if the excuses we come up with are true, they are not the reason our circumstances don’t improve. After all, life is always filled with ups and downs. It is how we, as free-thinking people, deal with those circumstances that will determine our happiness and quality of life.

In doing an honest personal responsibility assessment, you need to accept that changing your circumstances is under your control if you do the things that need to be done. Don’t rest on excuses, and don’t feel sorry for yourself. When something happens beyond your control, don’t dwell on why it happened.

Instead focus on what you can do to better the situation. How can you change or adjust to improve your situation? If you and your spouse are drifting apart, then invest more time in experiencing each other’s interests. Spend less time discussing the “problem” and more time on both your interests.

If the economy is bad, find out what jobs are still out there and learn that skill. Try part-time or volunteer work. Network with others on a daily basis. Keep innovating. Keep trying and always be responsible. Always be neat, on time and enthusiastic. Stay positive. Even in the worst economy someone is always working. Find out what is needed out there, and get those skill sets. Sell yourself to everyone you meet. Keep improving; something will happen. 

If you are not doing well in school and want to change that situation, then stop blaming the professors or the subject matter. Focus instead on what you personally can do to improve your situation. Many new students try to find an easier way to study, or they just try to scrape by. The end result is usually an academic disaster.

I was one of those students until a light bulb turned on in my head. It wasn’t whether I had a good professor or bad professor who determined my success. It wasn’t the complexity of the subject matter that was holding me back. It was me who held me back. It was how I responded to my circumstances that determined my success. I studied harder. I no longer hesitated to visit the professor as soon as I had a question, I asked other students to explain a problem, and I hit the Internet for clearer explanations of the subject matter. You can learn almost anything from online resources if you try. There is so much you can do to improve your situation.

In my case, I was able to change my attitude. Now if I don’t succeed, it’s for lack of effort, not because of a poor teacher or tough subject. I stopped giving up on learning the tough subjects or making excuses. In a nutshell, I tried harder until I got it. I took personal responsibility for my life and circumstances. It was always within my control to change my situation. All it took was accepting personal responsibility for my situation and doing what I needed to do in order to succeed. The transformation for me has been great.

If your life is in a rut, try a personal responsibility assessment. It just might change your life for the better.