While fall signals the beginning of the academic year, it also kicks off the new season of network television. The alphabet networks have been rolling out their game plans for the new year over the past few months, but before we dig into that, let’s recap the last season, shall we?

ABC gives Happy Endings an unhappy…well, you know.

Out of all the shows that were cancelled or ended after this past season, including The Office, Go On, and Smash (the last one is a joke) I have to say Happy Endings hurt the most. With the amazing chemistry between the cast and dialogue that was loaded with pop culture references and innuendo, I would say this is the closest this generation will get to having a Friends of our own, albeit with a little more diversity than what the Friends cast had. There were rumors that USA Network or TBS might pick up the show, like the latter did with Cougartown, however it wasn’t meant to be. So if you have an afternoon to spare, take the time to watch all three seasons of this gone-too-soon show, and then join in on the petition that all the cast members end up on New Girl, as they basically share casts already.

USA says goodbye to Miami, hello to Graceland, sets us up for a Psych-out?

At this point in time, USA Network essentially has a corner in the blue skies television market; trendy locations, attractive lead actors, and twist on a profession, like a concierge doctor, conman assisting the FBI, and a lawyer who never actually went to law school, just to name a couple. This year, USA bids adieu to one of its first original dramas, Burn Notice, after seven C-4-charged seasons. The argument could be made that without Burn Notice, the rest of USA’s original “blue sky” programming, such as White Collar, Covert Affairs, and Suits, would not have gotten off the ground. It’s going to be hard to say goodbye to Michael Westen and his gang of misfits, but luckily USA decided to launch their new series Graceland, which I am pleased to report is coming into place nicely. I talked extensively about Graceland in a review I wrote after the first three episodes aired, but after watching the fourth episode; I think it’s safe to say USA is going to be just fine. Meanwhile, on the still uncertain side of things, there are rumblings the next season of Psych may be its last. There’s yet to be an official word put out by USA, but series regular Maggie Lawson has signed on to another show. Time will tell, but it’s not looking great.

Shockingly, Big Brother brings out the worst in people

As it turns out, if you make racist and homophobic remarks inside a house that is being live-streamed to people across the Internet, there are going to be real world consequences. Two houseguests already lost their jobs, a fact they won’t know until they leave the house.  Can’t wait to see the reactions at the live finale.

Other highlights of the summer so far…

Dexter is back for its final season, Under The Dome, the television adaption of Stephen King’s novel has been pretty well-received for a summer series on network television, and ABC Family’s Pretty Little Liars, which I am sorely behind on, made its return while the fate of Bunheads still hangs in the air.

Now, there are a few more things to look forward to before the end of the summer. The Newsroom will be making its grand return on July 14. To be honest, I gave up on the show after four episodes. I’ve been meaning to try to get back into it, but I don’t think it’s going to happen.

A revival of a little show called Whose Line Is It Anyway will be airing on The CW starting July 16, sadly without Drew Carrey as host. If you don’t know what it is, I suggest you take a week off from life to start watching episodes. You’ll thank me.

Last, but more than certainly not least, Breaking Bad is returning August 11, and it’s going to be freaking awesome. (My editor asked me the other day if I watched the show. I don’t think I would be qualified to review television if I didn’t watch the show) I have no idea how the show is going to end, but if it doesn’t win an Emmy for Best Drama before then, I don’t know what I will do.

Speaking of the Emmys, nominations will be announced July 18 and the ceremony will air September 22, giving everyone plenty of time to complain on who did/didn’t deserve to be nominated. (I’m looking at you, entire male cast of Modern Family that takes up a good portion of the Supporting Actor nominations and pushes out Nick Offerman). On the bright side, Neil Patrick Harris will be hosting the ceremony, so if you haven’t already, look up his 2013 Tony’s opening. He has set the bar ridiculously high for himself.

With the Emmys comes fall television. Like I mentioned before, the networks have pretty much been shoving promotions for their new pilots down the throats of anyone who watches their channel, visits their websites, or follows them on social media, of which I frequently do all three. Here are my top picks for must-sees and probably-skips:

Must-sees

• Hostages: CBS took a hint from how NBC handled Hannibal and gave the series a limited-order of episodes. The premise of the series, a doctor who is operating on the POTUS must ensure he dies during the surgery or her family will be killed, can’t really sustain itself beyond a season, maaaaaaybe two. I would love to see networks take more risks like this and stick with limited-run programming rather than trying to draw out a concept for years on end (looking at you, 2 Broke Girls.)
• Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Hear me out. It’s a comedy about cops, staring Andy Samberg. It’s either going to be a horrible misfire for Fox, or it’s going to be absolutely fantastic. I don’t know, but I can’t wait to find out. Plus, fellow SNL alum Fred Armisen has a cameo in the preview.
• Marvel’s S.H.I.E.L.D Something or Other I Don’t Know The Exact Name Because They’ve Changed It So Many Times But Who Cares? Superheroes!: Agent Phil Coulson is alive and well, and Cobie Smulders will have a place to go after How I Met Your Mother ends this year, but we’ll get to that. There is no way this isn’t going to be a hit, and ABC knows it. To show just how well they know it, they scheduled it as direct competition with the most-watched network show, NCIS. I’m giving the number of viewers edge to NCIS on this one, as most of S.H.I.E.L.D’s demographic will probably not watch the show live, but we’ll see. There’s a good chance I might be wrong, given the popularity of, you know, The Avengers.

Probably-skips

• Super Fun Night: Really ABC? I love Rebel Wilson as much as anyone who has seen Pitch Perfect, but I don’t think this is a suitable pairing with Modern Family, especially considering you gave up on Happy Endings. I see this cancelled by November.
• We Are Men: Sigh. Can all networks, including CBS, please get the memo to stop trying to make Jerry O’Connell happen? He’s not Matthew Perry. (Which reminds me, I predict in two to four years NBC will launch another Perry-centered sitcom. You heard it here first.)

Undecided

• Once Upon a Time in Wonderland: ABC ordered a limited-series run of this spinoff, which will tell a contained tale in one season. While I’m intrigued by the idea, the original Once Upon a Time has gone off the rails recently, which I’ll address later, and I think damage control on that issue would come before launching a spinoff. The trailer looks promising though.

As far as returning favorites go, here’s what I can’t miss, and what will no longer be on my viewing schedule.

Can’t miss

• How I Met Your Mother: It’s the last season, so guess what? Ted’s meeting the mother even though SPOILER ALERT the audience got a glimpse at the mother during the season finale, Ted still has no idea who she is. I’ve been with this show since the very beginning, even though this “sitcom” has made me cry more times than a Nicholas Sparks movie (don’t judge me) so I can’t wait to see how this ends. This entire final season will be taking place the weekend of a wedding, and will feature the rest of the main characters meeting the mother before Ted finally does. It’s quite the risk for the show to take in the final season, but I’m going to bet it will pay off, and that I will cry.
• New Girl: The finale gave season three plenty of material to play with, from Schmidt now juggling the affections of two women (his response when he realized this was to bolt away from the scene) and Nick and Jess driving off into the night, the state of their relationship not quite defined, but still not called off. Now if the writers give Winston something more to do, I’ll be overjoyed. Maybe Coach, the original roommate from the pilot episode, returns and joins the gang in the loft. Seeing as Damon Wayans, Jr. is now free, I don’t think it’s unreasonable.
• Arrow: Give credit where credit is due. The CW knows how to do superhero television shows. Plus, the soundtrack is phenomenal and Stephen Arnell is shirtless a good portion of the time.

Lost your season pass

• Once Upon a Time: Like I said before, gone off the rails. The idea of twisting the story of Peter Pan is interesting, but I don’t think I’ll be devoting 43 minutes a week. There are always recaps.
• Revolution: Got hooked on the pilot, watched the show every week. But then NBC gave it a midseason hiatus, and I never started watching again. I caught bits and pieces of the finale, and as much as I respect Billy Burke (the guy was one of the very few highlights in the Twilight movies) I just can’t force myself to watch it again.

Undecided

• Community: Yes, Dan Harmon is returning. However, like him or not, Chevy Chase left the show, and news just broke that Donald Glover, the Troy in “Troy and Abed in the Mooooooorning!” will not be returning full time. And to top it all off, Harmon has to somewhat salvage the mess people made of his show in a year. So, yeah, I’m a little scared, but if anyone can pull it off, I think Harmon, the madman who created the show himself, can. Probably.

In a little more than 1,800 words I have revealed my television viewing habits to the world. I can officially tell my parents I’m getting paid to talk about television.