An article the other day in the Huffington Post, “On The Fly: Are You Flirting Or Just Being Polite?,” got my attention. It made me wonder about people’s current interpretations concerning politeness.

As such, cue the music for an article in the rapacious vein of Bill Hicks’ “Rant in E-Minor”:

I have to wonder if “being polite” means the same thing it did 30, 40 or 50 years ago.

Think about what “polite” means to you. For some, it means opening doors and pulling out chairs for women, helping old ladies across the street, saying “please” and “thank you” after everything and even avoiding discussion of unsettling topics or using “lewd” language.

So what is still expected of politeness in the United States today?

At Hy-Vee, you are offered a “helpful smile in every aisle.” Does anyone honestly believe all the employees are offering a genuine smile?

It is a business plan to offer a service that appears to be more helpful and respectful than other businesses so as to create some degree of loyalty to the establishment. The employees can be chastised for not offering to help a customer.

The same, “how can I help you” is a regular part of restaurants and essentially all large retail businesses. 

But does anyone think most of those employees that aren’t on commissions or bonuses/perks for high sales really care if you make a purchase or not?

We know it is all a dog and pony show — and if you didn’t, my apologies for the sudden revelation. And no, that wasn’t a genuine apology. I was just “being polite.”

I wonder if all politeness is just a way to delude ourselves. We are a culture that appears to enjoy being duped, to a degree.

Folks go to strip clubs and enjoy not only the enticement of the naked human form, but also the most often fake flirtations utilized by the dancers to make more money.

Many of us were scolded in childhood and into adolescence when we forgot to thank some relative after they gave us a gift that we found to be atrocious — think along the lines of clothing that you wouldn’t be caught dead in or something that made no sense like a toy for a child 10 years younger than you.

Sure, it is “the thought that counts,” to some degree, but why is it more important to pretend so someone else can think they did well and likely make the same mistake again?

Nowadays, that politeness has faded a lot. So much so that when folks are “polite,” people feel the need to comment on it and to point out the act because it is no longer the norm.

So again, is it just that people like “fake” and are unwilling to admit it? People complain about fake actions of people all the time, yet people desire “fake” reactions every day. Hypocrisy anyone, or merely a matter of degrees?

Do you really care that someone is pregnant or engaged when it appears on Facebook? If you were busy with your life and saw in public one of those “friends” you rarely communicate with, would you wait to hold a door open for them or just go on about your day as if they weren’t there?

And yes, making people happy is a good thing overall. So why not do that all the time? Why not make it a point to regularly compliment or “like” things or open doors for others all the time.

Well, people don’t generally do that because people don’t necessarily care about others unless it could have a discernible effect on themselves. 

Think of the last time a complete stranger held the door open for you. Now think about the odds that that person found you attractive and did so hoping it would somehow entice you to strike up a conversation, or, at the very least give them a good look at your tush. It isn’t always a given, but it is in a fair likelihood.

Maybe I’m a bit of a cynic, or maybe I prefer people to open their eyes and realize the layers of the world.

I’ll leave you with something to consider from the movie “The Matrix” that covers my pondering:

“Cypher: You know, I know this steak doesn’t exist. I know that when I put it in my mouth, the Matrix is telling my brain that it is juicy and delicious. After nine years, you know what I realize? [Takes a bite of steak] Ignorance is bliss.”