Thanksgiving is over a week past, and exactly one week ago was the sometimes long awaited, sometimes fearfully dreaded, postholiday pastime of Black Friday. Known to all, loved by some, hated by many, this shopping tradition has been the busiest day of the year for retail since 2005. It’s the day of maddening sales and delectable discounts that each year kicks off the Christmas shopping season.

The day has taken some violent turns for the worse, however, in the past years. Black Friday is now known for its insane customers clawing, biting, and sometimes brawling for that overly-discounted TV, iPod, or pair of jeans that buyers are convinced they absolutely must purchase at 4 a.m. at a certain store.

Does anyone else find it as ironic as we do that Americans choose the day after Thanksgiving — in which we are supposed to be thankful for all the things we already have — to go out and punch our fellow citizens just to get the newest and cheapest item we don’t already possess? We hope everyone can see the insanity.

We may have found a solution to these contradictory traditions. Black Friday should be moved to the Wednesday before Thanksgiving and become Black Wednesday.

Think about it. Now, we can all go out, fight to the death for items, bring them home triumphantly and wrap them eagerly all on Wednesday. So when Thanksgiving comes around the next day, we can add those prized possessions to our “what we are thankful for” list.

No longer will we have the problem of thinking to ourselves, “Oh crap, I should have been thankful for this yesterday, but I hadn’t yet beat someone for it yet.” There will also be no more planning, scheming and fighting while the blessing is being said over dinner. Grandma won’t yell at you to put down those shopping ads and come play gin rummy.

Changing the tradition to Black Wednesday may be the biggest blessing America has seen since the invention of covering the sweet potatoes with melted marshmallows. Everyone will be able to enjoy all that Thanksgiving has to offer without the added stress of game plans, bank accounts, and possibly throwing up all the creamed corn consumed only a few hours previously while sprinting up and down shopping aisles.

Let’s change tradition for the sake of all Thanksgivings to come because let’s face it” Americans can’t get enough of cheap deals, early mornings and the chance at a good fist fight in the middle of Wal-Mart.