As a feminist, I find myself obligated to respond to Mackenzie Nading’s article regarding chivalry in the modern age. She seems to think chivalry should be rekindled, that the only reason men are not appreciated by the female population is they don’t open doors for women. This is ridiculous. There is a reason chivalry has declined, and it’s not because men are pigs.

It is because chivalry implies a power relationship between men and women.

The men do courteous and nice things to demonstrate that while they may indeed have complete power over women, they choose not to use it. Standing up when a lady leaves the table and opening doors for women does not come from a culture of mutual respect and generosity but instead stems from a chauvinistic and male-centric world of the past. If women want to be respected by the men in their lives, they must respect themselves enough to expect to be treated like functioning members of society in their own right.

Nading’s treatment of gender roles is over-simplistic and naive. It is obvious she is using generalizations gleaned from stereotypes to suggest a course of action to both sexes that is narrow-minded and rather shallow. Love is more than “moving up a few rungs on the ‘we hate men’ ladder.” Portraying the modern woman as a man-hating harpy is just as harmful and wrong as portraying women as Disney princesses. In the real world, people open doors for everyone, not just men for women. It’s just a nice thing to do. Why should a man opening a door for a woman all of a sudden be viewed as a sweeping romantic gesture when a woman just held a door open for another random stranger as a passing kindness? That’s ridiculous and backwards.

You want some real advice? Ladies: romance and chivalry are not the same thing. If you want respect, you will earn it by respecting both yourself and your peers (regardless of gender or sex).