Sometimes something happens and you can’t help but ask, “What the hell?”

That’s the case in Tennessee this past week. In a 29-1 vote, the Senate down there chose to amend its abstinence-based sex ed laws to include language that expressly prohibits teachers from discussing “any gateway sexual activity … that encourages students to experiment with non-coital sexual activity.” Say what?

The bill’s sponsor, Sen. Jack Johnson (no, we didn’t make that up), said “‘Abstinence’ means from all of these activities, and we want to promote that … What we do want to communicate to the kids is that the best choice is abstinence.”

So let’s get this straight: The state of Tennessee wants kids to abstain from any “gateway sexual activity.” Gateway sexual activity? What does that even mean? Apparently holding hands and kissing are sinful in the Volunteer State now. Don’t touch each other, kids — you might get pregnant!

That’s reminiscent of the old “you can get AIDS from a toilet seat” myth. Hmmm, think you can get pregnant from a toilet seat in Tennessee?

Anyway, Tennessee lawmakers call this program of theirs “family life education.” Seems that “sex” is a bad word and is even worse when connected with another apparently naughty word: “education.”

We wonder just what they want kids to do, sit silently in seats with blindfolds and ear plugs in? Because, you know, we wouldn’t want kids seeing each other and thinking somebody in class is cute. Oh, no. Nor would we want them talking to each other, because talking leads to liking, and everybody knows liking leads to babies.

At least one senator in Tennessee is eating with more than one chopstick. Beverly Marrero, God bless her, was the sole dissenter on this. “I think all of us realize that abstinence is the absolutely only way to prevent any kind of sexually transmitted disease,” she said. “However, I think the young people who need education are the ones who are not always getting our advice.”

Wait, back up. You mean, kids do stupid things? Say it isn’t so!

As Marrero pointed out, nobody is saying abstinence is a bad idea. The point is simply that it doesn’t work for a large number of kids, so we need to teach all kids that if they choose to have sex, there are ways to do it safer to reduce risks of disease or pregnancy.

We’re all for the government staying out of personal decisions and family life, but when it comes to something that has such far-reaching public implications, such as unwanted children, higher demand for social services or spreading disease, then maybe, just maybe, the government ought to play a role.