The Nerd — You’re the reigning champion of all-nighters. You work hard for your grades and you’re not afraid to show it.

Hair — Constantly mussed. Sometimes it’s hard not to pull it out during whatever rocket science classes you’re taking at 8 a.m. Monday through Friday.

Glasses — Contacts dry up too fast in the air-conditioned stacks at Parks Library. Thick-rimmed black frames might be all the rage for the trendy set, but you prefer your tried-and-true wire rimmed pair.

Pocket protector — Unless you were enrolled in the College of Engineering circa 1952, you don’t have one of these. And, even if you somehow were, remind yourself it’s 2011. Buy a mechanical pencil or something.

iPad — There’s a reason your clothes aren’t trendy: you’re spending your money on techno gadgets that make the rest of the world jealous. There are few logos you can wear that measure up to that pristine little Apple logo on the back side of an iPad.

The Athletic Supporter — Season tickets to the football games? Naturally. ESPN on your dorm room TV? Check. Signing up for intramurals? Already done.

Bag — Why bother with a real backpack when that drawstring Nike bag fits all your stuff and an extra pair of basketball shorts?

Cyclones apparel — Everyone on campus might be rooting for Iowa State, but it never hurts to keep morale up by wearing a t-shirt emblazoned with the school fight song.

Tennis shoes — In rain, snow, sleet, or hail, being prepared for emergency weightlifting is a constant necessity. Whether you’re jogging to class or a game of basketball at Lied, you’re ready for anything.

Cut-off shirt — It’s not just for showing off your bulging muscles. It’s also for properly ventilating your bulging muscles. Either way, your bulging muscles somehow require freedom from fabric. Really, you have no choice but to wear one of these.

The Liberal (Arts Student) — Irony is your middle name. You wear quirky and unique items to try to rebel against everything that is mainstream. Your style itself has become mainstream, but you’ll never admit that fact. 

Ray Bans — For reasons that remain unclear, these are compulsory. Really, there is no use fighting it, because you have to own a pair. Wear them in the sun only if you are taking ironic pictures of yourself.

Books — The books you read can be found at the library, past the computers and the group tables. They sometimes contain research data for classes, but may also be full of literature or poetry. Most people probably haven’t heard of them.

Quirky Accessories — A plethora of pins affixed to a purse, vintage jewelry or pearls, anything with an owl on it. Second-hand finds are best, but if you’re puzzled the moment you find something in a store, snap it up and wear it out!

Headwear — Did you know you lose 95 percent of your body heat through your head?* Better wrap it in a bandana, headband or a turban. When all else fails, slap on a pork pie hat.

(*Probably an overestimate of grand proportions.)