Before Thomas Jefferson and John F. Kennedy, through Bill Clinton and now Arnold Schwarzenegger, married men have found it engorgingly hard to keep their pants zipped. But I am continually struck by the perplexing question of why perception persists that primarily gay and bisexual men are termed “promiscuous.”

From biblical references to Abraham through King Henry VIII, to Governors Mark Sanford and Eliot Spitzer and golfer Tiger Woods, men have engaged in sexual relations outside the confines of marriage.

Despite all this, ensuring marriage equality for same-sex couples will somehow cheapen and ultimately destroy the institution of marriage.

Political pundits and psychologists offer their “reasons” why high-profile and powerful heterosexual men commit “sexual transgressions.” The thrill of getting caught is one such common “reason.” In Schwarzenegger’s case, some have called his philandering the result of his steroid use during his bodybuilding days. Virtually no one accuses these men of destroying marriage itself.

But according to a 2008 joint statement by 16 New England Roman Catholic bishops, “[t]he legislature of the State of Vermont, by passing the civil unions bill, has attacked centuries of cultural and religious esteem for marriage between a man and a woman and has prepared the way for an attack on the well-being of society itself.”

A 2010 resolution by the Southern Baptist Convention declared that “homosexual behavior is intrinsically disordered and sinful.”

According to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, “Homosexual behavior violates the commandments of God, is contrary to the purposes of human sexuality, distorts loving relationships, and deprives people of the blessings that can be found in family life and in the saving ordinances of the gospel.”

Former Senate Majority Leader Trent Lott proclaims that homosexuality is a disease on the order of kleptomania and alcoholism, and Newt Gingrich talks about “a gay and secular fascism in this country.”

Though lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people are unique and multidimensional, when they are stereotyped as a group, they are seen as reducible to a single trait.

A crucial point in the psychology of stereotyping is the representation of minoritized peoples as, in historian John Boswell’s words, “animals bent on the destruction of the children of the majority.” LGBT people have long been stereotyped as being this kind of menace. The image of the hyena (an animal with a supposedly homosexual nature) was a common symbol for homosexual activity during the Middle Ages.

The hyena’s unsavory association with those engaging in such activity was perpetuated by depictions of the animal’s predatory nature. It was just a small leap from there to the claim that LGBT people abuse and “recruit” children.

Though the majority of child abuse is commited by men who identify as heterosexual against their relatives, the cultural perception continues that primarily gay men — and by association, lesbians and bisexuals — attack young children.

Our society today still attempts to define and perpetuate fairy tales about the real lives of LGBT people, and even proclaims that we do not have a right to exist. 

Nonetheless, we are many of the students, teachers, counselors, day care workers and parents you meet each day. And yet, some people try to prevent us from having contact with the young people of our nation. The stereotypes and scapegoating continue because of their insensitivity and fear.

 

Despite working as social workers and psychiatrists and volunteering at homeless shelters and rape-crisis centers, still some people and groups blame us for the breakup of what they call the “traditional American family.”

The reality is that we are holding up this culture. If all the lesbians, bisexuals, gay males and transgender people suddenly left their jobs and volunteer positions, this country would crumble.

So the next time people claim that extending marriage rights and privileges to same-sex couples will bring down the institution and civilization itself, we can investigate the facts, cut through the stereotypes, and end the scapegoating.