One of my majors is women’s studies, and I proudly call myself a feminist. I also like men. I have a lot of male friends, my best friend is male and I have no issues hanging out with males. Some would consider me to be a walking contradiction because of this — because you know, feminists hate men. But I’m here to tell you it’s not true. Feminists like men, seriously and not just sexually — we aren’t all lesbians you know.

Like with all organizations, there are more radical groups. You have extremist Christians, Muslims, who are willing to blow abortion clinics and buildings, but it should be no surprise that there are great Christians and Muslims who create charities for great causes and are great people.

There is a spectrum of behavior and ideas within one label. Feminism is no different. Sure we have our radical feminists, who think all sex with a penis is rape and women should be with women only, but they are slim group. A vast majority of us aren’t like that; actually we understand that males are important when it comes to feminism.

Now let me get this myth straightened out, feminism is not about making sure than women have all the power and are in control of the men, where we keep men underground for breeding. It’s about creating equality and equity between men and women. We don’t want to be better than men, we just want to make sure our voices are heard too.

Some would say we are sexist because we focus on women’s issues or take things from a female point of view. Well, historically, the women’s view wasn’t considered important, we are trying to make up from years past. It’s hard to make equality when groups aren’t equal to begin with, but we aren’t sexist.

We focus on domestic violence from a female perspective because survivors are statistically more likely to be female, according to RAINN, 1 in 6 women will be raped and 1 in 33 men will be raped in their lifetime. It doesn’t mean that we think that all males are wife beaters or potential rapists. We understand that males can be raped and that domestic abuse can happen both ways.

Many feminists have understood that we can’t do this alone, we need men’s help. If we live in a women bubble, we won’t fix the problem and it won’t go away. National Organization for Women, the largest feminist organization in the United States, allows men to be members because of this issue. It was actually founded by men and women in 1966 with the first vice president being a male named Richard Alton Graham. Since then males have been an important part of the organization.

Feminism as a movement has changed over the past 100 years, so far we have three waves of different needs and different voices being heard. You can’t really argue using information about the first or the second wave about the current state of feminism, it has changed since then. It would be like using a biology textbook from the 1960s, it is simply outdated.

We understand that if we don’t include male voices in the debate, we would be under a bubble in which nothing changes.

Women’s studies have evolved too, hell, even the name all over the country is being changed to gender studies, to better incorporate all voices. This is something we are trying to get accomplished at Iowa State, which is a slow process due to red tape and bureaucracy.

We even have women’s studies classes here that deal with men. Sociology of masculinities and manhood is about men only. Other classes such as gender in the media, or even intersectionality of race and gender, deal with men. 

Feminism also helps men, not just women. No, really — by helping women we are helping men too.

Take the fun stereotypes that you always hear us females complain about — the airbrushed bodies, bodies that only 2 percent of the population have. You know that these images hurt female’s perception of themselves and create unhealthy relationships with their bodies. While it’s lower in males, men still have unhealthy perception of their bodies because of images of what their bodies are supposed to look like, based on half-naked Abercrombie & Fitch models.

Approximately 1 million boys and men struggle with eating disorders in the United States, according to bulimia.com.

While struggling to maintain appropriate weights, they also have their own unhealthy idol, GI-Joe. A study was done evaluating the changes of the GI-Joe action figure over 30 years and found the chest increased in size from 44.4 in. to 54.8 in. and the biceps increased from 12.2 in. to 26.8. Like Barbie, GI-Joe could not function in real life. Is it any surprise that in a study by NSCA, that 78 percent of steroid users were non-competive bodybuilders and non-athletes?

As we try and create more realistic models for both men and women that are diverse both in race and body weight, we are helping to create a better relationship with our bodies, and stop unhealthy practices including eating disorders and steroid use. We are telling people to love their bodies, regardless of size, weight, shape, color and everything else.

One of the goals of feminism is to create better way of juggling work and home life for both men and women, In “Does Feminism Discriminate Against Men?” James Sterba argues, that some by creating programs that would appeal to both men and women by creating benefits that would allow paid maternity and paternity leave, which is staple in western Europe. Feminist fight for on site daycare for children, and better working hours to help families stay involved in their children’s lives and while still being good workers. This allows both men and women to spend time with their children without fear of losing their jobs.

Yes, we are not perfect, and a handful of feminists might give a man crap for calling himself a feminist, but the younger generation of feminists would like men to join them. I know the Vagina Warriors on campus are looking for some feminist men to join them if any of you are interested. 

A good feminist will realize that while females are discriminated against, so are men in some regard, we understand that gender roles hurt males just as much as they do females. Men should have the right to be sensitive without being called gay, or the right to be macho macho men. Men shouldn’t have to be forced into certain jobs, just because it’s “men’s work” just like females shouldn’t have to be forced into “women’s work.” Men and women should not be confined into little boxes in which you have to act a certain way or be ostracized.

We understand that it sucks that men have to sign up for the draft and we don’t, that prostate cancer events are virtually invisible compared breast cancer, and other men issues. Together, both men and women can change it, we just need to get past the pettiness that feminists are these horrible butch-militant women who don’t want men around.

So can we please get past ‘feminists hate men’? I promise if you are male and you say “hi” to me, I won’t call you chauvinistic dirt bag and accuse you of trying to get in my pants.