When you’re 21 in Ames there is every opportunity to get drunk.

There is an entire street synonymous with rowdy behavior and drunken decisions. By no means am I a teetotaler, in fact I have been drinking legally since 18, yet it ceases to amaze me how accessible and abundant alcohol is in Ames.

Understandably there is what I would consider a copious amount of public intoxication arrests, OWIs and other legal consequences of drinking.

Fortunately, as you may or may not know from experience, receiving a public intox is considered a simple misdemeanor, which means only the Ames Police Department retains the information; it does not go onto the FBI database as with serious misdemeanors.

OWIs are slightly more consequential as there are risks of suspension of license, fines and, depending under what circumstances you have been caught, potentially court cases and insurance disputes.

Even with full comprehension of the risks and consequences, how could a 21-year-old, who has just legally stepped into the drinking arena, resist the temptation? These consequences seem even less harrowing when you’ve got a few Jagerbombs on board and are being told to chug your drink so you can go, and get 25 cent drinks at the next bar.

The other Australian’s and I have quipped that if there were penny drinks available back home we would wipe out half of Generation Y in one weekend. But the simple fact is that in Ames alcohol is cheap, responsible serving laws are lax and you might find yourself locked up in a cell after what was meant to be a fun night out with your friends.

Lt. Jeff Brinkley of the Ames Police Department said there is a basic law that the police follow when arresting someone with a public intoxication charge: “A person shall not be intoxicated or simulate intoxication in a public place.”

Yes this law covers all those tricksters out there who simulate drunkenness in front of a cop. We can all imagine the conversation with mom and dad from the jail cell, “Well I was just pretending to be drunk, and then I got arrested, but I swear I only had one beer.”

The police have several scientifically verified tests they use to determine intoxication, so before you start thinking that “The Man” has it in for you, think to yourself would you pass the following tests:

Can you stand on one leg?

Can you walk and turn?

Is your horizontal gaze nystagmus within sober ranges?

Horizontal gaze nystagmus is the involuntary twitching of the eye when it moves to the far right or left. When under the influence of alcohol you reactions are slowed including the twitches in your eyes which you cannot control. As hard as you might, if the police officer is passing that light in front of your eyes there’s no way to fake sobriety, plus the vomit on your shirt and whiskey on your breath is a dead giveaway.

So the first two you just might be able to pass if you’re coordinated enough, but if an officer feels that you’re a danger to yourself and others and you fail the final test, you’re spending a cozy night in a jail cell.

But of course there is a way to have your beer and drink it too: Stay with friends, stay upright, stay clothed and don’t wet yourself — it’s a pretty sure sign that you’re not looking after yourself.

“For the most part we’ll leave you alone if you can get home safely,” Brinkley said. “We really just want to make sure that you’re safe and that the public and property is safe.”

So as it edges ever so slowly toward warmer weather, and we dare to brave the outdoors more and more, stay safe and in groups when you’re out and about because waking up with a nasty hangover in a bed is always a whole lot better than waking up hung over in a cell.