Editor’s note: Annotations — e.g. (A), (B), etc. — by John Lonsdale, boyfriend.

Once, when my boyfriend and I had just started dating, I leaned in to kiss him and he hesitated. After I gave him a puzzled look, he awkwardly reminded me about a pen I had borrowed from a stranger and used earlier that day (A). Apparently I had then proceeded to chew on my thumbnail, and this had been bothering him all afternoon.

Now, there are some things that are sexy to talk about with your boyfriend. Germs is simply not one of them. I was very turned off, and there wasn’t much I could think to do about it except go to the bathroom and wash my hands.

The whole situation astounded me, frankly. I realized then that I was dating a — gasp! — germaphobe (B). He was one of those people who I had always scoffed at, and now I was dating one.

Well, not really; he’s not obsessive-compulsive or anything. I just like to tease him, because he’s more cautious about some things than I am, and sanitation is definitely one of those things.

I, on the other hand, have always been extremely unconcerned about germs — probably to a fault — so even the smallest amount of germ anxiety seemed unnecessary to me. I truly believe not thinking about germs makes my life so much easier, and I don’t like it when people get grossed out too easily. Not that I have bad hygiene. I wash my hands, I shower, I vacuum occasionally (C).

Then I started dating a germaphobe, and I started to think that maybe he’s right. Germs can be a big deal after all. Bacterial diseases like strep throat, and viruses like the measles are nothing to joke about; so he figures, why not do everything you can to be healthy?

Now I catch myself passing on free samples and covering public toilet seats with toilet paper before I sit down (D).

I should be thankful, really, considering how many disgusting men there are in this world. Somehow I managed to snag a clean one (E). Right now there are women annoyed with me for complaining.

This doesn’t mean I’ve stopped teasing him, though. It gives me a kind of weird satisfaction to obnoxiously devour the food he’s dropped on the floor and decided is too contaminated to consume. It would be a shame to see a great piece of bacon go to waste, after all (F).

During the course of our relationship, we’ve definitely compromised. The trick with any relationship issue is to be sensitive and empathetic to the other person’s concerns and try to adapt accordingly. Through compromise, he’s now a lot more laid back, and I take more precautions than I used to (G). Part of me wants to blame him for making me worry more; part of me wants to thank him for making me more conscientious.

People never change completely, though. If there’s a speck of anything in his water, he’s going to dump it out (H). If he disappears for a few minutes when we first get to a restaurant, I know he’s in the bathroom, washing his hands (I). If a food item is a day past its expiration date, he will throw it out.

As for me, when a Skittle drops on the floor, you bet your ass I’ll be picking it up and eating it; depending on the floor, of course.

Germs may not be the sexiest thing to talk about, but with Valentine’s Day coinciding with death cold 2011 — I think I may have started that, by the way, sorry (J) — it may just be worth it. (K)

Annotations

A. Don’t forget about that time you let that homeless man use your lighter to smoke, things.

B. You forgot to mention that I’m ridiculously good looking.

C. You’re really good about cleaning. If only your roommates wouldn’t let that mold accumulate in your sink; twice. 

D. I don’t do this. I love free samples and I don’t sit down to go to the bathroom.

E. I’m pretty thankful you’re not gross, too. Especially with all the women with incessant leg hair walking around out there. Talking to you, girl in Caribou from noon to 1 p.m. Wednesdays.

F. Hope you enjoyed the hair on that bacon. I think my parents really approved of you after that one.

G. Because of you, I’m a wild child now. The other day, I ate that apple without washing it off first. And I don’t even use the sanitizing wipes they give you for the carts at Target anymore.

H. Perkins. 

I. I had no idea you knew about that.

J. Thanks for that, by the way.

K. I’m glad you’re not a germaphobe, because you really helped me not to be. Being cautious about germs is good from time to time, but not always. I’m going to drink my milk one day past Feb. 12, and I’m not going to get therapy for this new condition that I realize may have been a problem, but maybe I should. As that guy says on the radio, you’re amazing, just the way you are.