A young man named Joel Northrup made a decision Thursday in Des Moines that sent shockwaves not only across the state of Iowa, but the entire country.

Northrup, a home-schooled sophomore who wrestles at 112 pounds for Linn-Mar High School, faced an opening-round matchup in the state wrestling tournament against Cassy Herkelman, freshman from Cedar Falls.

Herkelman, along with Megan Black, became the first girls to qualify in the tournament’s 85-year history. 

Northrup chose to default in that match and give the victory to Herkelman because, as he told the Associated Press, he didn’t believe boys should engage girls in that manner. As anyone who knows wrestling will know, the sport can get violent, and Northrup said he believed he shouldn’t be in that situation with a girl.

The young man’s decision spread quickly throughout our state and eventually ended up on ESPN.com. 

This situation is very far from simple. While it may in fact be the young man’s beliefs that young men and women shouldn’t touch in a “familiar way” — his father is a minister in the Believers in Grace Fellowship, an independent Pentecostal church in in Marion — it also sends a bad message.

By choosing not to wrestle Herkelman — who earned her right to be at the tournament in every way — Northrup devalues what Herkelman has accomplished. While Herkelman’s family said in a statement that they are happy she is moving on in the tournament, you have to believe she would much rather have earned her way into the next round.

Both Herkelman and Black’s family have told reporters covering the tournament that they fully respect the young man’s decision. Let’s not forget that he gave up any chance of becoming a state champion by defaulting the match, sending him to the consolation bracket.

If the family of the girl involved doesn’t hold a grudge against Northrup, we as a society probably shouldn’t either.

But refusing to wrestle a girl brings the inherent implication that she wasn’t good enough to wrestle; that she somehow wasn’t worthy. While we don’t know for sure whether or not Northrup thinks wrestling a girl is beneath him, it sure looks bad from the outside.

Despite the fact he was sticking up for his beliefs, people can’t always only think about themselves. By choosing to not wrestle Herkelman, Northrup sends the message to other girls hoping to wrestle that they might encounter this situation, and not try to compete for fear of being embarrassed by being given free wins. It’s a domino effect that can spread hurt feelings wide.

Unfortunately for Herkelman, she’ll never know whether or not she could have beaten Northrup and advanced on her own skill. She deserved that right the same as every other boy who qualified for the tournament. For that reason, Norhtrup probably should have swallowed his pride and wrestled her.

If he was hiding to save himself embarrassment, then he’s a coward. But if he is standing up for his beliefs, then Northrup deserves credit. Choosing to give up the dream of being a state wrestling champion for your beliefs at 15 or 16 years old takes guts.

When I first heard about the situation, I had to put myself in his position. How would I feel about wrestling a girl? Would I want to risk the chance that I would either:

A) Beat her and get razzed for beating up a girl, or

B) Lose and get made fun of by my friends for losing to a girl.

Remember, these are adolescents. Equality among genders isn’t something high school kids think about — unless high school has changed dramatically in the three years since I’ve been gone. 

I have to believe that I would’ve wrestled her, though, because I wouldn’t want to take away anything she had done to get to that point. Like I said before, it isn’t fair to her.

The line between right and wrong in this situation is razor-thin. Both sides have a point, and we could argue as to who is right for the rest of time. 

Should Joel Northrup have wrestled Cassy Herkelman on Thursday? Yeah, probably. But don’t make the kid out to be the devil for, apparently, sticking to what he believes. In this country, under the First Amendment, he has every right to do so.

I just really hope that is the case.