I love hearing stories about “the old days” from my grandpa. No matter how old I get, hearing him talk about “back when a loaf of bread cost a nickel” or when “a household was lucky to have one television set,” always intrigues me.

What’s even more thought provoking than these blasts from the past is wondering what I’ll be telling my grandchildren about the present day forty years from now. Sadly, the first thing that comes to mind is “I remember when the word ‘green’ was just a color.”

Over the last couple years, green has been ruined for me. It isn’t a color anymore, it’s a lifestyle. Everybody is “going green” by trying to save energy and paper waste — despite the fact that trees are a renewable resource. I’m not saying this is a bad thing. I fully support treating the environment with respect and not being overly wasteful. However, using a color to express this idea is obnoxious and confusing. Is it really that hard to just say “eco-friendly?”

Using “green” as a synonym for being environmentally friendly causes a lot of little lingual headaches. After all, the word already has enough definitions as it is. For example, if someone says to me “Bill is green,” it could mean a number of things. Is Bill looking sick? Is he from Mars? Is he an inexperienced rookie? Or is he eco-friendly? This exact situation is unlikely, but it’s just an example of a few of the many ways the word “green” can now be used.

Our language already has enough words with several meanings and interpretations. I would rather see a new word invented than taking an additional meaning on a pre-existing word. Unfortunately, this is just the beginning.

The worst of this confusion comes in the car world. “Green cars” are all the rage, and nearly no effort is made to distinguish this from cars that are actually painted green. Headlines such as “First Green Car Dealer opens” and “First Green Car Expo Set for Oct. 9” sound more like automobile manufacturers attempting to appeal to the Irish demographic than environmental progress.

I’m also not looking forward to the day when portable, eco-friendly light sources become popular. The Green Lantern will lose his superhero coolness in a serious way.

I think the thing that really gets me is how random and inaccurate the word “green” is as environmental jargon. True, a lot of foliage and plants are green. However, the ozone layer that surrounds the Earth certainly isn’t, and neither is the water that covers over half our planet, both of which are equal concerns in the environment. Hopefully as we continue to make eco-friendly advancements, it will simply become the norm and there will be no need for “green” as a fad or statement of any kind.

Keep an eye out for me this St. Patrick’s Day; I’ll be the guy wearing a black t-shirt and jeans, punching out anyone who pinches me, screaming that my shirt is made from recycled fabric and am therefore wearing green.