For today’s lesson, I am going to leave the bar scene for a bit and delve into the actual date or activity you may involve yourself in after that first instance when you meet someone; or maybe this could happen later in the night.

I am going to address a very simple mistake people make when it comes to intimacy and eating.

You see, back in the day a guy would take a gal out on a date with the intent of just getting to know her little by little.

Usually, these dates consisted of very simple activities like a meal and a movie. This is all fine and dandy, as movies are fun. However, the meal part is just plain bad. The “getting to know you” conversations are not aphrodisiacs, and even if you are staying PG, they aren’t even good ways to get to “know” someone — more on the topic of how to talk to people in next week’s article.

Today though, guys are a little more antsy when it comes to getting into some girl’s panties, and many women are liberated enough to feel comfortable getting a bit frisky without being courted for weeks.

Some people are still old-fashioned and like to take it slow, this is fine, but just know this article isn’t going to apply to those that stick with holding hands and waiting for marriage for sex. In fact, hardly anything I write is intended for people that are still clinging to wholesome values, so go watch “Sesame Street” or something.

With this advanced sexual interest in mind, I’ll return to the problem of a meal and then sex. Ready for this? The majority of women don’t want to play doctor after they’ve had a full meal. Don’t believe me, try asking your friend’s girlfriends.

On the other hand, guys seem to be more willing to get down after a large meal, but this isn’t really a surprise as most guys are in the mood for sex whenever a girl is nice enough to offer it — sorry girls, you may have a sex drive, but the male urge to merge has none of the restraint of a woman.

One remedy for this would seem to be just eating only a small meal. Well girls enjoy eating as much as guys, so tying to limit the food quantities is going to be a hassle. My recommendation, based on some field research, is to stop doing the traditional dinner and something plan.

Simple enough, yes? But what now?

Limit your food and beverage intake to little snacks. Get some ice cream, share a slice of pie, whatever cannot result in the girl feeling stuffed — and that’s “stuffed” by the American definition, not the Australian.

Now that you have the idea of limiting food intake, you can get into the physical activities. Girls go for guys that think outside of the box — yes, that was a pun.

The movie or play is fine, but sitting does not get the body warmed up and tingling with desire. All this may still sound like obvious advice, but look back over your attempts at dating, and tell me, guys or girls, how often you get the dinner and a movie date. Far too often is the likely response. So now ask yourself how often you wanted nookie afterward. Uh huh, just what I thought.

Now for the big telling secret you’ve all been waiting for: Activity increases sexual desire, and activity tends to involve physical contact. Get the idea? If you are in a position to touch or be touched by whoever it is you are interested in, you develop comfort-ability. Women don’t like being touched, generally speaking, by folks they don’t know or trust.

By sneaking in the touch factor and body proximity of oh-so-many activities — playing competitive Wii games is actually sorta like Spanish Fly — you get to cheat your way into instigating increased touching. The brain still sees this as creating a comfort zone, while the natural defenses of early interactions with a potential suitor are lessened because of the seemingly fun and competitive activity. Remember to bump into your “date” and increase the proximity of your activity as you go.

Yes, this could be interpreted as trying to trick your lover-to-be. But isn’t that what everyone else is trying to do anyway with the normal dinner and a movie: You’re trying to get close to someone and gain their trust to get their touch.

Oh, and for those morons out there with little to no restraint, touching does not mean copping a feel or slapping a gal’s tush. There is a time and place for that, and this is not it unless you really want to end your evening just touching yourself.

Once you’ve established a rhythm of light touching — yes this sounds like foreplay and can easily turn into it if you play your cards right — you need to up the ante.

When you take a break, you need to tease them for whatever it was they did or didn’t do while you were doing whatever; never let the mood die down and don’t stop the light but pointed touching. This teasing is just simple flirting, but with the increased heart rate and the already established closeness, you can start to put whatever form of moves on your soon-to-be significant other — define that however you want.

Touch and proximity are two factors sex requires, so why not pave the way properly so you can coast in nice and smooth.

So, the lesson for the day is: Don’t follow the old plan of eating a meal and then hoping for intimacy any time in the soon-after when trying to get to “know” a girl.