North Korea needs to calm down.

Unprovoked acts of war are something blatantly condemned by most countries of the world. There are fancy buildings in places like New York and Geneva and historic pieces of paper inked with pinky-promises from world leaders explicitly saying so.

You’d be right to point out the hypocrisy of our recent monkeyshines in the Middle East, Desert Storm — waging war to contest the notion that one country was allowed to unilaterally invade another without asking Mom and Dad for permission, and the sequel proving that if you’re the United States of America, you could. Twice.

North Korea’s actions may have been viewed as shooting spitballs on the global stage, but it was indeed an act of war. In the face of civilian death, kudos in spades is what the South Koreans deserve after their extraordinary display of restraint. It seems that Kim Jong Il is besieged by a few tired generals eager to send the regime out in a blaze of glory, a troubling development in a country in the learning stage of tinkering with nuclear weaponry.

The reality of certain regimes cooperating with North Korea in their endeavor is no Bond plot incarnate, but an increasingly likely, dangerous possibility.

We’re happy for the candor of our Wiki-leaked embassy documents, if only for the language from upper brass Chinese condemning their communist compatriots as spoiled children. We’re glad to hear it amid the theatrics regarding agreements to play nice with the Ruskies in the currency game.

Nuclear aspirations in an unstable country shouldn’t be taken lightly, and we sincerely hope the Chinese are able to shore up the problem and precedent of North Korean hostility.

The aforementioned leaked cables have already been pored over by our heroes at the New York Times, and it’s worth noting that South Korean intelligence says United States presence above the DMZ is “unwelcome” at best. We’re glad to hear that a regime run by a man who golfs perfect games and has no bowel movements is in its last days.

In May, an international committee found North Korea was to blame for the sinking of the South Korean warship Cheonan this year, two unanswered acts of war by our count, and 46 lives lost.

We’ve joined our Korean compatriots in what’s been called “Gunboat Diplomacy,” the “it” term for the exercises along with the United States and the carrier group of the USS George Washington.

China isn’t sovereign over the entirety of the Yellow Sea, but has voiced its distaste for U.S. presence in the area on more than one occasion. They’ve gone so far as to harass surveillance ships and international vessels, and are most likely less than impressed with our current endeavors.

South Korean President Lee Myung-bak apologized today for “failing to protect his people” — somber words from a heavy heart. In the face of possible war, South Korea has only gone so far as to promise retaliation for further aggression from the North. While the 698,000 troops of the South Korean military can undoubtedly hold their own, it’s our sincerest hope that we’ve seen the extent of hostilities.

Three wars is three too many.