The Iowa State Daily Editorial Board presents: Social Norms and Guidelines, 2010 Edition

1. The right side of the sidewalk to walk on is — drum-roll please — the right side. America walks like it drives, and our sidewalks are two-wide at best. You might feel awfully “Entourage” parading around campus with your wall-o-friendship, but everyone else thinks you’re being a nuisance. This is particularly important considering the amount of bicycle traffic on campus. Speaking of which …

2. If you’re on a bicycle, don’t act like a complete idiot. Barreling through intersections is just stupid, yet we see this every day. People will barrel out in front of buses; transition between roadway and sidewalk with wanton disregard for right-of-way; and sometimes slam into unsuspecting foot traffic. Bicyclists beware, further stupidity may give us cause to ask our friends in the Government of the Student Body for a mandate requiring cards stuck in bike spokes for the “bzzzzzz” warning.

3. Crosswalks are to be approached with kindness and regard for the well-being of one’s peers. This is not a time to test out the magical powers associated with pedestrian right-of-way, and we have no idea why people insist on hitting the gas. If someone is in the sidewalk, you stop. If they’re going to make it to the edge of the crosswalk in time for you to stop, the same idea applies. As far as being a good pedestrian is concerned, stepping out in front of moving vehicles — buses in particular — is ill-advised.

4. Hold doors open. It’s a common courtesy, and here at the Daily, we’re all about being polite.

5. Don’t litter on campus. There are almost as many trash cans on campus as there is cattle fencing, including those spiffy new solar-powered trash compactors. They’re not there for show; use them. Campus is not a trash can, and it’s everyone’s responsibility to keep it pretty so we can stay on those “most beautiful campuses” lists.

6. When you attend athletic events, wear your fanciest, most school-spirited threads. Cheer your face off. Thank Paul Rhoads every time you see him, and ask Fred Hoiberg for a high-five. Thou shalt shun all things black and gold and never take thy Cyclones in vain. When you hit that line, you will hit it hard, every yard.

7. Turn your phones on silent in class. There are, believe it or not, some nerds out there who go to class with the intention of learning the material. We love Metallica as much as the next editorial board, but in the middle of our philosophy lecture is neither the time nor the place.

8. Tights. They are not pants. No matter how toned your legs are, you are still walking around campus with no pants on.

9. Smoking. Despite the inconvenience of the ban on smoking across campus to your cigarette addiction, please do not light up anyway and try to hide it by smoking in the bushes. It is fall now, and the foliage is dry. Though a raging campus bonfire may look pretty, we do not need to turn campus into a re-enactment of Chicago circa October 1871.

10. (The most important) Have fun. You are in college, most likely in your late teens and early twenties. This is the appropriate time to be youthful, idealistic and maybe even a little self indulgent — within reason, of course. Make sure these few years are something you’ll be able to look back on fondly.