In college, bars are a common place for students to go to hang out with their friends, have a good time and meet new people. Teresa Downing-Matibag, assistant professor of sociology at Iowa State, said people go to bars with different intentions.

“Some want to hang out and have a good time with their friends, and others might be looking for a hookup,” Downing-Matibag said.

Her research examines intimate and sexual relations in young adulthood.

For the students who go to bars looking to meet someone new or for a hookup, it can be challenging and even intimidating to walk up to someone to make a connection. Because some people aren’t even out to hook up, people have to use whatever clues they can to try to find the right person to approach. Body language and nonverbal communication is one way that people can read cues of their potential mates.

Appearance does play a role

Downing-Matibag said physical attractiveness is usually the first thing people take into consideration. She said people will first ask themselves if they think the other person is hot.

Brian Wallace, a bartender at Es Tas, agreed. He said that people’s first impression is usually entirely based on looks.

The gender difference

A person’s gender will make a big impact on how they behave and interact in these situations, said Zlatan Krizan, ISU assistant professor of psychology, who studies how people perceive themselves and judge themselves and their social environments. He said that men usually want to portray power or prestige to potential mates.

“They want women to think they’re popular and that others look up to them,” Krizan said.

Kirzan said this underlying message is displayed everywhere. One example he mentioned was when males are “physically carousing with their friends.” He said this behavior is intended as a joke, but it also can be a sign of dominance, power or control.

In a bar setting, a man who is trying to exude power might be walking tall or positioned with their chest up, he said. In contrast, Krizan said a woman’s nonverbal communication all begins with her appearance.

“Generally, women spend a lot more time and effort on their appearance if they are looking for a mate,” Krizan said.

Wallace agreed that the way a woman dresses can be a sign of her intentions. He said there are certain things a girl “wouldn’t wear out with her boyfriend,” such as short skirts, tight jeans and revealing or backless tops.

Location, location, location

It is clear that physical appearance plays a role in the game of hooking up, but so does a person’s location in the bar.

Where people sit or stand can be a big clue into their intentions for the evening. The people who situate themselves where they can scan the room are more likely to be looking to meet someone new, Wallace said. They might be sitting at a table in the center of the room or standing either in the center of the room or up at the bar, he said.

“They avoid the people sitting in the corners that are clearly into their friends,” Wallace said.

Downing-Matibag said that the people who are looking for a hookup are more likely to either be at the bar or in the space directly behind the bar.

“People will put themselves in a physical location where there is a lot of mingling and traffic. They’ll stand in a place where they can be noticed,” Krizan said.

It all begins with a look

An easy way to find out who is interested in you is by noticing who is trying to either catch your eye or get closer to you. No matter if you’re male or female, a gaze or look typically means that someone else is interested.

“A gaze is a clear sign of interest,” Krizan said.

He said that women are likely to emphasize their feminine characteristics while they look at a guy. “These signals typically are more subtle for women,” he said.

Downing-Matibag said that besides making eye contact with a person she’s interested in, a woman might “play with her hair or finger her necklace or earrings while she’s looking at someone.”

“Men are more likely to be obvious and let a woman know they’re checking her out,” Downing-Matibag said. “Men might stand back so they can check out women, then they’ll try to make eye contact or get closer to the woman.”

When it’s a go

Krizan said this subtly comes from a cultural expectation that men are supposed to pursue women. Downing-Matibag agreed and said that men are generally more direct about showing interest in a mate or initiating a conversation because of this cultural standard.

However, both Krizan and Downing-Matibag said that this norm seems to be changing. In some situations, women will initiate contact, too.

“Some women are very obvious,” Krizan said. “They are the exceptions.”

Typically a man’s role is to communicate attention and interest through various signals, while a woman will show whether she is accepting the interest. Krizan said that this step will differ depending on the social context of the situation.

“It’s different if the woman is a stranger or if she’s someone his friends know,” Krizan said.

The first step might be to ask the girl a question or to have a mutual friend introduce him to her. “Men use their nonverbal to pursue women by a subtle touch on the back or leaning in,” he said.

From that point, Krizan said a man will see how a woman is responding to him. Is she laughing? Is conversation flowing easily? Does she lean into him or pull away? Is she getting closer? Does she seem to be flirting back? Is she focused on the conversation? Krizan said that people must read all the cues or signals another person is sending them.

“It’s about collecting all the clues and deciding if you have enough to act,” Krizan said.

Even if there seem to be a lot positive signs, people can still make mistakes.

The friend, a barrier or the back-up?

Whether you like it or not, the friends can affect the outcome of a potential hookup, and a female’s friends tend to act a lot differently than a male’s. It’s common for a group of women to go out to a bar together. This situation poses a challenge for men.

“Women tend to barricade themselves in a group of friends, making it so that a guy might have to wrestle a girl away from other friends,” Krizan said.

He explained that males’ friends typically try to break any potential barriers for a guy who is trying to access a girl. On the other hand, females’ friends tend to increase the barriers.

Downing-Matibag said that women tend to do this because women are seen as more vulnerable, especially when they are drinking. Because of this, their friends are more protective.

When it’s time to move on

Just like there are signs that someone is interested, there are also ways to determine that someone just isn’t picking up what you’re putting out there. Wallace said that besides someone physically walking away from a conversation or interaction, someone who is turning the other way or constantly on the phone probably isn’t interested.

A more neutral stance is another clue that the other person isn’t that into you, Downing-Matibag said. She described this as standing back and not leaning forward, which creates more personal space.

“The other person might look away or even try to start a conversation with someone else,” she said. “If they are focusing on their friends, they probably aren’t out looking for partners.”

Don’t forget about the alcohol

Everyone knows alcohol will change the way someone acts.

“Alcohol lowers inhibitions,” Downing-Matibag said.

So what does this do for a potential connection between the sexes? Krizan said women under the influence of alcohol are more likely to smile, laugh and allow men to get closer to them.

“Women are more flirtatious when they are buzzed or drunk,” Krizan said. “They will send the signals that they’re interested but they might not mean it.”

Men, on the other hand, might be more likely to approach a woman they like if they’ve had a few drinks, he said.

When alcohol seems to be affecting another person, Krizan said that people should factor that into the equation. “If someone is drunk or buzzed, you should discount some of the other cues that may tell you they’re interested,” he said.

The big picture

Although it may seem that hooking up or making a connection with another person may be easy in bar, there are a lot of factors to consider. From interest to friends to alcohol, making a solid connection in a bar ends up being more complicated that some people realize.