One of the best parts of college is taking part in intramurals.

Sometimes it’s kids who were good in high school and still want to compete. Other times it’s kids who didn’t play in high school, or like me, were on the team, but simply weren’t good enough to play.

Half the fun of assembling a team, though, is picking your team name. Almost every team tries to come up with a funny or ironic name that could be an inside joke, or one the whole world would be in on — see: anything regarding Ben Roethlisberger or Michael Vick.

Our counterparts at The Daily Iowan put together a list of their favorite intramural names, and we thought we should gauge the level of creativity Ames-based teams bring to the table. 

So I took a look at the list for this year’s ISU intramural flag football teams, and with the help of the Daily staff, we selected the five best team names. If you don’t agree, or have a name you think is hilarious, feel free to e-mail us at [email protected].

But before we get into the five best, I’d like to address the worst names I saw.

First off, any team that calls itself the Hawkeyes for intramurals at Iowa State is just being ridiculous. I understand being a fan of Iowa, but you really couldn’t come up with anything more ingenious than calling yourselves by the same name as our school’s biggest rival?

Secondly, I’d like to address the women. All the team names in the women’s division were average to bad, with no clever or original names. C’mon ladies, I thought you all were smarter than us guys?

Third, to whoever called themselves Man Awesome: That’s not even a complete thought. It’s like calling your team Hat Funny. 

And finally, anyone referencing the area code 515, you need to realize something: We aren’t in California, and this isn’t 8-Mile. You aren’t being original, and it isn’t cool to rep your area code when you’re from Iowa.

Now that we have that out of the way, on to the good ones. After we selected our five, we ranked them, with factors being: originality, timeliness, offensive nature and potential for tear-jerking laughter. 

With everything voted on and ranked, here’s what we came up with.

No. 5: Multiple Scoregasms

This was one of the first names that stuck out to me when I took a look at the list of names. 

As far as originality, it got the lowest ranking of the five best, as multiple teams playing flag football this fall chose it to be their team name, which also makes it less funny when you see the name more than once.

However, it redeemed itself through its timeliness and offensive nature. This is an intramural name that can be used across multiple sports, and would make little old ladies gasp and scowl.

No. 4: Ginger Jakes

This team name made the list primarily because the kind people of the Daily love to point out that yours truly is a so-called “ginger,” and felt that a column about team names by a “ginger” needed a team name with ginger in it.

So for that, it earned a high score on the laughter scale, while scoring high on the offensive scale for me personally. 

I also hope that the team is not, in fact, made up of young men named Jake who all have red hair. If so, I clearly need to change my name and join their team.

The name also isn’t sport-specific, and likely can stand the test of time, as I know we of the red-haired variety will constantly be given a hard time for it. Mostly, because of this kid — warning: some foul language.

No. 3: Big Ben-d You Over

Like I said before, any time you have a chance to take a swipe and either Ben Roethlisberger or Michael Vick in your team name, it’s usually a good decision to do so.

Making it funny or clever? That’s the challenge. Whoever came up with this one, my hat is off to you.

Roethlisberger’s multiple accusations of sexual assault make him an easy target, and the only thing regrettable about people using it is that he won’t see them.

Of course, nothing about sexual assault is funny. Making fun of Big Ben for being an awful human being is.

No. 2: Our couches pull out … but we don’t

This team name is more worrisome than funny for the girlfriends of the guys on this team — provided, of course, that they have girlfriends.

For the rest of us, though, it’s hilarious. 

It’s potentially the most offensive of the names on our list, with a clear and present sexual connotation. The difference between it and others that are clearly trying to be sexual in nature, is that it’s exceptionally clever.

It’s one of those phrases that if you said it in front of an unsuspecting older person, they might not get it at first. When they did, though, they’d likely be offended, if not indignant. 

While it isn’t sports-related in any way, I think the originality more than makes up for it. 

No. 1: The Charles Bruisers

There was never any doubt that this would take the top spot on our list, as it pokes fun at former Cyclone basketball player Charles Boozer.

Boozer, who figured to be a key player on this year’s team, left the team and school to deal with anger management issues after being charged with simple assault.

Like the Roethlisberger reference, no one at the Daily would ever condone assault.

If the last team name was exceptionally clever, than this one is phenomenally so. To borrow a quote from Ron Burgundy, whoever came up with this is a very cunning linguist.

It’s original, it’s timely because Boozer left Iowa State only last spring, offensive because it implies that Boozer is a less-than-stellar citizen, and invokes quite a bit of laughter.

It may even be on the short list of greatest Iowa State-related intramural team names ever. 

So, Bruisers, take pride in the fact that you have the best name. Now you just have to go out and bruise your competition to take home the T-shirts.