“Don’t judge me.” It’s amazing how well this short, simple phrase has worked its way into our culture.

Whether you’re watching “Pride and Prejudice” or “Grandma’s Boy,” listening to Tupac or Slipknot, or asking your roommate how well he or she really knew the person who stayed over last night, you’re bound to hear it eventually. In fact, this phrase has become so cliche that people tend to forget what it really means.

I tend to automatically replace it in my head with “don’t hold me accountable for the way I represent myself.” The truth is that most of the factors people are judged on are the results of conscious, deliberate choices. And what are we supposed to base peoples’ characters on if not the decisions they make?

For that reason, there are only two issues you should ever have with being judged: First, if it’s regarding something out of your control. This includes things like skin color, shoe size, height or any other natural attribute.

The second issue is if assumptions made have nothing to do with the observed trait, such as drawing the conclusion that everyone with earrings has a low IQ. Mitch Hedberg made a terrific point about this problem when he said, “I wish long hair was associated with something other than drug use, like an extreme longing for cake.”

A lot of stereotypes and other unfounded judgments fall under this flawed logic, but that doesn’t always indicate a cause-effect relationship.

Take smokers, for example. While I choose not to smoke, I also hold nothing personal against those who do. It’s unfair to assume that smokers are bad people, but there are some logical inferences you can make about their character that are inarguable.

Due to the well-known health risks associated with smoking, you can assume the enjoyment people get from smoking must outweigh their concern for their own well-being. This could represent a lack of self-respect, or perhaps a general indifference, but it still says a lot about one’s personality.

But habits such as smoking may not be apparent on first glance. Real, pure judgment comes from appearances, because the first impression we get of people is their appearance.

The fact is, you have more control over your appearance than society has led you to believe. Who decides what you wear? You. Who picks your hairstyle? Also you. So if you’re a girl who goes to Welch Avenue scantily clad on a Friday night, don’t be surprised when you’re not treated with the respect you deserve. Just remember the words of Dave Chapelle: “You may not be a whore, but you are wearing the uniform.” You have control over these things.

This doesn’t mean you should change who you are just so people will receive you a certain way. All it means is that you need to be aware of the consequences of your decisions. If the way people see you is getting you down, then you must not be very sure of who you are in the first place, and a change needs to be made anyway.

As for myself, I hope and expect to be judged constantly. If you assume I wear glasses because I have poor eyesight and am currently too lazy to get contacts, you’re correct. But if you see me wearing a T-shirt with the name of a heavy metal band on it and assume I’m a satanist, we might have problems.

So rather than trying to stop people from judging you, just accept it; it’s a part of human nature. Instead of complaining about this inevitability, I try to use it to my advantage and represent myself in a way that I want to be received. I challenge you to do the same.