There were days when I used to tell people that Democrats bring a knife to the gunfight. It wasn’t that long ago. Remember when that flip-flopper who faked injuries in Vietnam and then threw his undeserved medals defiantly onto the White House lawn had the audacity to run for president? I do, and although I loathed the contemporary Republican political machine — a diesel-fueled juggernaut helmed by Karl Rove — I respected it.

What Rove accomplished astounded and mesmerized me. He took a presidential race between suspected draft-dodger/confirmed policy moron G.W. Bush and Purple Heart-recipient/tenured Sen. John Kerry and teleported it to Bizarro World. Suddenly, Bush was an American hero — apparently — because he happened to be the president on 9/11, and Kerry was the antitheses of patriotism: French.

As Kerry was forced to explain himself time and time again for his honorable service in Vietnam, Dub-yah rode a string of buzzwords into the Oval Office for the second time. And while other liberals were spinning themselves into butter over how the word “liberal” had become an insult, I was too busy being impressed by the deftness with which the GOP had guided its flagship candidate across the finish line yet again.

Times have changed. In 2008, the juggernaut faltered. Despite being able to get arguably the least intelligent and most gullible president in U.S. history re-elected, the GOP air-balled a layup. After all, it had a bonafide war hero/tenured senator of its own, and what did the Dems have? A Socialist Muslim without so much as a single term in the Senate under his belt?! Swish!

In the primary season of 2000, I lamented John McCain’s defeat and hoped he would try his hand again. But when he rode back in on the “Straight Talk Express” in 2008, he got hijacked. His high-minded campaign ambitions were swiftly replaced with Rove-style rhetoric, and his original message was lost. He gave in and got gimmicky. Substance was eliminated and the old, sure-fire game plan was implemented. It didn’t work. We can dispute why the Rove formula failed, but we cannot dispute that it did.

Here’s what I don’t understand: Why are Republicans still using this obsolete playbook in 2010? The party used to be the king of campaigning. From 1994 through 2004, whether or not they could govern, Republicans could win. And it isn’t as if the Democrats suddenly learned how to campaign either — they did learn how to raise money. Democrats remain as un-cutthroat as ever. In fact, I contend that Democrats have yet to beat Republicans in the new millennium. Republicans beat themselves.

An example: In New York, Republican gubernatorial candidate Carl Paladino is airing a political ad straight out of Intro to Rove 101. The ad labels Paladino’s opponent, Andrew Cuomo, as a “Career Politician,” and Paladino as a “Businessman.” The ad promises that Paladino will prevent an “Islamic Mosque” from being built “in the shadow of Ground Zero.” Paladino refers to the proposed mosque as “a monument to those who attacked our country.” How does a salaried person, working for a major campaign, believe that a combination of Sarah Palin’s Washington Outsider shtick and Giuliani’s one-note song about 9/11 will steal votes away from a Democrat?

Whatever it is that Americans do fear, Republicans aren’t hitting the nerve. Not like they used to. Rather than widening their appeal, Republicans are intent upon pandering to those who will vote for them 10 times out of 10. This reeks of disorganization.

As the GOP moves further and further to the right to accommodate extremists such as the tea party, it continues to lose ground with that fickle creature, the Undecided Voter.