Do you know what today is? Think really hard about what groundbreaking event occurred approximately one week ago. Give up? Oh, how soon you forget. One week ago, Apple unleashed its newest technological marvel upon the modern world: the iPad. An innovation so awe-inspiring, Apple deemed this new technology “a magical and revolutionary device.”

With such a declaration preceding the release of the iPad, the Editorial Board decided to run a column on this important innovation one week after its release to evaluate its impact. We speculated what the world would be like after the iPad was forced into our collective cultural consciousness. We wondered how life would be different after the newest “iFad”?

How would this device — complete with an iPod, “LED-backlit IPS display screen,” “multi-touch” surface, wireless Internet, ability to magically fly and withstand nuclear warfare — change our lives? Would Kindles still exist? Would we still be using PCs for e-mails?

So, here we are, one week later, and our lives have remained the same. We’re still reading textbooks that come in the form of textbooks, plugging earbuds into our iPods and checking e-mail on the Park’s Library PCs. We have yet to see anyone toting an iPad around campus.

After mulling over this strange new invention, it’s safe to say iPads are not as groundbreaking as we were led to believe — not for $499, anyway. The only noticeable result of the iPad’s release is the feminine hygiene product jokes that have been in the media these days: iPad – maxi-pad, get it? It’s culturally relevant low-brow humor.

Here’s the thing: Most of us already own technological equipment capable of sending and receiving e-mails, playing MP3s, watching videos and accessing the Web. The kids these days are calling these devices computers. They may not all have flashy touch screens or weigh a mere 1.5 pounds, but they’re what we’ve got to work with.

Apple’s newest release seems to be a gimmick. We’re not convinced a more cumbersome version of the iPhone will revolutionize technology anytime soon; especially because in the next year, Apple will likely release yet another “revolutionary” device, guaranteed to make our lives easier. And until one of Steve Jobs’ creations comes complete with the ability to write our term papers automatically, withstand nuclear warfare and fly, we’ll remain skeptical about flashy, expensive technology.