An open letter to all burrito stands in Ames:

The following are the ingredients of a basic American burrito: Flour/corn tortilla, refried beans, iceberg lettuce, marinated steak/chicken, raw onions, lime juice and cilantro, if available.

You will notice I didn’t mention anything about cramming my burrito full of rice as filler, including any grilled vegetables — whew, magical — or putting any whole beans on there.

I am from Chicago, and Chicago is famous for its food, among other things. While living in Chicago I’ve had many a good burrito, but I haven’t had even a single one that was anywhere near decent while living in Ames. Not at Panchero’s, Qdoba, La Fuente, Fighting Burrito … nowhere.

The disinterested people working in these shops look at me like I’m crazy when I start to get specific about the way a burrito is to be constructed, and no store has the correct ingredients based on what one could expect from even the tiniest storefront shop in my hometown.

The saddest thing is that you heavily tattooed Iowans have no idea what a good burrito is because you’ve been eating mouthfuls of rice your whole lives.

People at burrito shops in Chicago are lined up around the block nightly because of how delicious the food is.

Add a little salsa or hot sauce, sour cream, maybe even some avocado and you’re in heaven.

I want one of these shops to make my Chicago/American burrito and sell it as such. I guarantee it will become your most popular seller. Rise up Iowans. Down with rice, up with ice(berg)!

Jeff Miller

Graduate Student, Psychology