The editorial board should run for Senate. Once again, locked away in the Daily’s break room, we faced the nation’s troubles and fixed the health care system. But we may be too late: The House of Representatives passed its version of the health care reform bill 220-215 late Saturday night.

Initially unsure of our thoughts on the bill, a court stenographer couldn’t have kept up. We discussed the merits and pitfalls of single-payer, private care and countless other suggestions. For nigh on 30 minutes, our best angle was “burn down the whole system and start over.”

We looked for a hybrid between the private system’s quality and a single-payer system’s coverage for all. We decided the bill needs a “Twinkie-mendment,” an idea we’re proud of, as it provides a rare compromise between two vastly differing modes of thought.

Brace yourself. This will rock your world.

Currently, the problem with the system is that health care is expensive and has further separated haves and have-nots. If the government simply provides blanket coverage to everyone, it will, almost certainly, damage or eliminate private insurers. Additionally, it will put the government on the hook to provide benefits to anyone, regardless of hazardous habits.

The government plan leaves room for a chain-smoking Twinkie enthusiast to acquire health care on the taxpayers’ dollar. Our amendment proposes the regulation of those who purchase government coverage. These regulations would allow the immediate termination of coverage to anyone who smokes, eats too many Twinkies, never works out, gets ticketed for a DUI or drug possession or for an increase in blood pressure exceeding a certain threshold in any year. If you can’t afford health care, we want you to earn it.

We could hear the American Civil Liberties Union knocking before we even finished the thought, but it’s really not any different than policies currently employed at public schools nationwide. We pay taxes, and the government supplies an education, provided students obey a code of conduct. Certain offenses may lead to a suspension, while others lead to a full-on expulsion. Expelled students are forced to pay additional money for private education.

Our amendment adopts the same system. In exchange for cheap, basic health care, consumers agree to forfeit Twinkies, nicotine and alcohol-fueled re-enactments of scenes from “The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift.” This limits the government’s liability for people looking for cheap emphysema care and increases the competitiveness of the private insurers by creating a stronger cost-benefit relationship: “If I want to do what I want, I need private insurance.” Paying for additional rights sounds a little fascist, but at its core is simply a novel extension of how capitalism already operates.

For instance, you may want a Porsche, but can’t afford it. By purchasing a Ford, you’ve forfeited your ability to impress your friends, outrun the police and get into exclusive clubs.

It’s far from perfect, but the system is already mangled beyond reason. In our search for clarity, in our quest to unfold just a layer or two of this system’s complexity, we stumbled upon something that might show a glimmer of hope for compromise.

Are we crazy?

Maybe just a little, and that’s why we should be in the Senate: Health care brings out the worst in everyone.