If turkeys could talk, they’d all be channeling Rodney Dangerfield right now.

“Christmas comes earlier every year,” the birds would yell in thick Long Island accents. “I get no respect. If my mother could see the way Thanksgiving is treated these days, she’d roll over in her gravy.”

It’s true, Thanksgiving gets no respect anymore. Today is only the sixth of November, yet wisps of Christmas spirit can already be seen making the long journey from the North Pole to Ames.

Disney’s 3-D animated version of “A Christmas Carol” is being released today, although we’re barely out of October. And many local retailers have already cordoned off aisles for their own mini winter wonderlands, hoping to milk the Christmas cash cow for just a few weeks longer than last year.

And therein lies the problem: money.

Sure, Thanksgiving no doubt drives purchases as we all run out and buy turkeys and cranberries — along with those stretchy maternity pants required to fully enjoy both.

But turkey day comes nowhere close to the veritable orgy of retailing and consumer spending that follows it.

So, the Christmas season keeps creeping up on Thanksgiving. It seems like we’re assaulted by elves and candy canes earlier and earlier each year.

If the trend continues, the two holidays will soon be indistinguishable; and if Christmas really gets greedy, Halloween might even be swept up in the mix.

The newly combined holiday season will run from Oct. 15 through Feb. 1., and will include a bizarre hodgepodge of today’s traditions. Undead pilgrim Santa wearing a pointed witch’s hat, buckled shoes and a cape, will fly through the air in a giant pumpkin carriage named the Mayflower, pulled by eight gobbling turkeys.

His goal? To throw candy corn down the chimneys of little boys and girls who go door-to-door giving thanks in elf costumes.

Call it: Thanksmasween.

And while that sounds like a riot, think about all we’d be losing if Thanksgiving fell before the onslaught that is Christmas sales and decoration.

First, Thanksgiving is one of the only true American holidays. It traces it origins to a celebration held in one of the 13 colonies that would later band together to become these United States. Those doing the celebrating back in 1621 came to the new world in search of religious freedom — a concept that has helped to define our nation.

On top of that, the message of Thanksgiving still rings true today. Almost half of Plymouth colony died within the first year of landing in the new world. A successful, fruitful harvest the following year was an incredible thing to celebrate.

By comparison, our problems seem quaint. Despite the fact we’re in one of the worst recessions in memory, Thanksgiving gives us a chance to reflect on the realization we, as Americans, have a lot to be thankful for.

So, we need to defend Thanksgiving. We need to tell Kris Kringle to cut the crap and get back into his own holiday.

How? By how we spend our money. This problem’s cause can also be its solution.

As consumers, if we put off buying presents until December, if we change the radio station when a carol floats over the airwaves prior to Thanksgiving and if we refuse to see a Christmas-themed movie until we wake from post-turkey hibernation, we can send a message that will echo across industries.

If we stand together, we can shout, “My holidays need to come in sequential order!” or “Hell no, I won’t buy … till I’ve had my pumpkin pie!”

Because Thanksgiving needs respect, and it deserves its own time to shine.