A fairy tale wedding for all
April 21, 2009
I’d like to tell you a story. In fact, I’d like to skip through all that boring exposition and get right to the good part: the wedding.
There’s an elderly preacher, sincere and smiling, presiding over the ceremony. He motions to the nervous and quaking individual to his right for the golden ring. A smile spreads as tears well and the face flushes to a bright, cherry red. The ring slides easily over a finger outstretched for all to see.
These two are faithful companions to one another, to have and to hold, through sickness and in health, as long as they both shall live. Their eyes lock and an unspoken promise resonates deeply in their hearts. Lips touch lips, and the audience bursts into applause. And, as there must be with any proper wedding, Mom is fighting with a desperate vigilance to hold back her tears of joy.
It sounds like some sort of fairy tale, doesn’t it? A joyous celebration of love shared by family, friends, and even God if you choose to invite him. It’s absolutely beautiful.
I picture the couple from the story, and I get tears in my eyes. I can’t imagine a better match. These people compliment each other almost perfectly. They are, in every sense of the word, soulmates.
What does it matter if they’re two women? Or two men? Or one man and one woman?
Does the sex of the parties involved even warrant story revision?
My answer: absolutely not.
The relationship between religion and sexuality in the recent past has been characterized by an aggressive battle for marriage, which many religious conservatives argue will change for the worse if gay marriage is allowed.
Chuck Hurley, president of the Iowa Family Policy Center and a former state lawmaker, made his position clear at a recent anti-marriage equality rally.
Speaking against the courts, Hurley said, “They have tried in their finite wisdom to overturn 6,000 years of human history, 170 years of Iowa’s simple, settled marriage law history, and they have tried in their finite wisdom to overturn common sense.”
And, saddest of all — no matter where you stand on the issue — Hurley even resorted to the childish rhyme, “God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.”
What gets me in a pinch is that Hurley and many religious conservatives have no solid footing from which they can rightly proclaim how marriage should be.
One reason is their own rates of divorce. According to a poll conducted by the Barna Research Group and released in 1999, Christians, especially evangelicals, had significantly higher divorce rates than other faith groups.
A second reason is their history with marriage. Hurley and other religious conservatives may claim that the institution hasn’t changed, but that claim is simply not true. Here’s a really simple example: it wasn’t all that long ago that people weren’t considered “husband and wife” but “man and wife.”
This may seem like a minor detail, but it reveals insight into the profound relationship between a male and female within the parameters of a “traditional” marriage. The woman was property who lost her civil rights to be with the man she was essentially traded for, often without consent.
Thirdly and finally, Hurley and those like him, believing that civil law should be influenced by religious morality — it shouldn’t, by the way — should take a look at where their efforts are. They argue that marriage is the foundation of society and that the perpetuation of “traditional” marriage is pivotal to society’s survival, but where are the rallies to support a constitutional amendment making divorce illegal?
How about Hurley urges for civil law to punish adultery?
I would think if you’re honestly fighting for marriage and the family and not hiding behind them for political reasons, you would support them fully. Or you’d be at home, looking after your family.
Let me put it to you this way: I’m tired of being told that religion and sexuality — homosexuality in particular — are two forces locked in some kind of epic battle.
Looking around me, I get the sense that our generation is pretty smart, and we’re going to choose the side of fairness, equality, and love. I think our generation is the one that’ll be in that wedding, not standing outside protesting it.
— Sophie Prell is a junior in pre-journalism and mass communication from Alta.