Dear parents,

The time has come.

High school graduation parties have been had, summer is winding to an end and your child’s college career is about to begin.

During this season, everyone frets over the student’s journey into a new portion of their life, but no one talks about what really matters. What happens to the parents of these bright young minds? They, too, experience a rite of passage and gain a new title. They become what is known as “empty nesters.”

When children leave the nest — whether for the first time or for the umpteenth time — parents often experience what is known as Empty Nest Syndrome.

This experience is named after a phenomenon among birds, wherein once chicks are fully grown, they are supposedly pushed from the nest and forced to fly or fall. Truthfully, this is not the most apt comparison, as it is more akin to carrying a baby bird to a smaller nest with a roommate and a stack of textbooks.

Empty Nest Syndrome is often experienced in stages, not all of which are bad.

The first stage is known as the “what if” stage. In this stage, parents often experience worry for their children by imagining circumstances that are near impossible for the child to actually experience, such as “What if a rabid coyote breaks into the dorms?” or “What if there’s a revival of the Black Plague and I’m not there to stop it?”

Not all Empty Nester worries are irrational, however. For example, what if your child never learned how to do laundry, dishes or make their bed? What if they don’t know how to read a map? While they may call you for advice, the campus provides free Wi-Fi. Most likely, your student will find the solutions to their problems by using Google. But don’t feel replaced. Google didn’t teach them what they needed to know to get this far in life, right?

Once the out-of-control worrying slows down, Empty Nesters go through a period of relief and realization. They might notice themselves getting to bed on time; their voices are well-rested because they haven’t had to chastise anyone. Parents often experience an immense relief upon realizing that they no longer have to pretend to know everything, especially the answers to their college student’s homework.

This self-actualization can, however, make parents be aware of aspects of themselves they may not have wanted to. A common example of this is realizing that, no, your child couldn’t have downloaded that computer virus as they’re five states away. There’s a chance it might have been your doing.

Finally, the best way to alleviate Empty Nest Syndrome is to rename it. Chances are, the parents now have an extra room in their living quarters. What was once a student’s room can now be transformed into something better — or, at least equally as good. For example, Empty Nest Syndrome can morph into New Home Theatre or Craft Room Syndrome. 

While having a student go away to college may be tough, it’s important to remain rational and remember what both you and your child have to gain from the experience.

Remember that you may experience Empty Nest Syndrome, but your child has become an adult. They still love you, but just from afar — and that’s OK, because you loved having them home, but you also love being able to watch action movies on your new private big screen.