Delectable delights are luring the females to bed again, but this time it’s not a result of pumpkins and asparagus.

You may recall that only a few months ago NBC rejected a PETA ad from running during the Super Bowl because of “a level of sexuality exceeding our standards.”

NBC complained about the breast fondling — in the presence of broccoli — and eggplant licking.

And although PETA claimed “Studies show vegetarians have better sex,” another study recently published has opened our eyes to one important and previously-overlooked detail: The women were alone.

According to researchers with the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology, in Germany, male chimpanzees that offered meat to females in exchange for, well, you know, were twice as likely to succeed in mating, regardless of whether the female was in heat.

And Darwin’s natural selection wins again.

Because, although you may be able to tango solo with a cucumber, the Planck Institiute’s researchers say more shared meat meant more sex for males and less risk for females, who were spared the time and energy spent actually hunting the meat themselves.

We’d like to suggest a third, albeit possibly less-exciting, alternative:

Let food be food.

Let sex be sex.

Honestly, when was the last time whipped cream actually spiced up your night? Does covering your body with chocolate actually seem to you like anything more than a huge mess?

No one looks forward to shelling out $100 for a dinner for two at a steak house and, on the flip side, having been so expensive. And if you’re trying to impress your date with the cut of meat your pocket can produce, you’re bound to eventually get tripped up by making the wrong choice — some ladies just don’t go for “the baby ones” — i.e. veal — or “the cute ones” — i.e. lamb.

And, really, broccoli?

So, although eating meat may have gotten us here, let’s not take our respect for animals to the point of having sex with vegetables alone, in a hot tub.

Enjoy your steak, if that’s what you’re into.

Enjoy a piece of pumpkin pie if you’re not.

Just save the sex for when the dishes are done.