With the recent accumulation of rain earlier this week, and a higher reading on the thermometer, I believe it’s safe to say that spring has officially arrived. But what does this mean? Spring fashion trends have already hit the runways, and soon, the stores.

Runway fashion is an experience in itself. From the loud, upbeat music to the skyscraper hairstyles, floor length gowns and ridiculously high heels, these shows may appear more like a circus rather than the opening of a new clothing line.

With each new season comes a new fashion trend, or in most cases, many new trends. However, with the arrival of this spring’s new trends, I hope none of them will be worn on campus anytime soon.

Depression Chic, Geometry Lessons, Goddess Worship, Marrakesh Express, Sporting Goods, and Trash and Vaudeville — as stated by Vogue — are the latest fashions that are all the rage for spring.

Who in the world comes up with these names? Depression Chic sounds like a mix between dark gothic makeup and an evening gown. Who knew that depression could even look chic?

Looking through the pictures that Vogue provided for each of the new trends, I found nothing but droopy, off-the-wall or wicked styles that shouldn’t be seen on any person for any occasion.

Sporting Goods is the new dressy style of sportswear. As tempting as that must sound, are you really going to go straight from the gym to a nice five-star restaurant downtown? I didn’t think so.

Frankly, Goddess Worship and Marrakesh Express are the same category — both involving ill-fitting and flowing layers of fabric. To get this look at home, just cut up a parachute and tie it around your body.

Trash and Vaudeville is apparently what Vogue thinks of as a reinvention of the ’80s wardrobe. I thought they realized shoulder pads will never be flattering on any body shape, ever.

Not to bash on the designers, but why are runway fashions never seen on the street? Perhaps because they’re so atypical that the average person isn’t going to wear them in public, let alone purchase them.

For many of us, the closest we’ll ever get to designer fashion is the American Eagle at the North Grand Mall. But with the same sundress, T-shirt, skirt and jeans available every season, you’re more likely to purchase the same wardrobe again and again rather than the “newest trends.”

Designers should cater more to the public and create more styles that can actually be worn by the average person, instead of the insane high-collared gowns that will see a clearance rack before ever being bought.

It’s quite easy for anyone to carry an over-the-top Prada or Gucci purse, because it’s okay to go a little wild to make an outfit pop. However, it shouldn’t be the outfit that literally “pops.”

The average person feels comfortable in jeans and a T-shirt — not high-waist trousers, five-inch heels and a top adorned with something resembling a collar from the Middle Ages.

Although many women should trade in their old, tattered jeans for a great pair of wide-leg trousers, we all know they aren’t exactly the type of thing you want to wear lounging around the house with your hand in a bag of potato chips watching the fiftieth cycle of America’s Next Top Model.

It would be a great addition to see designers begin to sell pajamas, great-fitting dark denim jeans, and tops that can be worn to Bakers Square and then out for cocktails later that evening. Versatility should be the focus of the designers in Milan, rather than how to cut the next parachute to look chic.

Go ahead and watch New York’s Fashion Week and drool over your favorite designer’s brand new looks. Maybe you’ll find one that both catches your eye and can actually be worn around town.

Until then, we can only hope that Depression Chic never catches on, or that those people in Milan finally realize that shoulder pads were dead after the ’80s.

 — Justine Hain is a freshman in pre-journalism and mass communication and psychology from Rochester, Minnesota.