Today is a very important and very awkward day. This is the day that we all meet the people we will be sharing time with in class for the next semester. Even for the most socially competent people, today is filled with uncertainity about what to do and say to some people.

Today is also a day that would make President-Elect Obama proud because it is full of hope and change. The start of a new semester can mean that you hope to meet a smokin’ hottie with whom you can get your flirt on. It is also a day to shake off the old semester – in which maybe you did not do so swell – and to reinvent yourself. Now all of this sappy stuff all sounds good, but how do you go about choosing who you want to be in class? How can you reinvent yourself for this semester?

After much “scientific” research and many hours spent deep in thought with some friends, it has been determined that who you are in a class all starts with where you sit. For those of you students who like to doze off in class or perhaps stalk people on Facebook instead of learning, there is a perfect spot for you – the back. The back of the class is perfect because it will usually have a poorly lit corner so that pesky light wont disturb your slumber. It also means that people won’t look over your shoulder while you browse randomly on Facebook – I believe the correct term for that is stalker-stalking. The back of the class is the best spot for those classes that you really don’t care about and you really didn’t want to take in the first place. Another bonus of the back is for the people who love to be fashionably late to class. Sitting towards the back may just make your GPA dwindle down faster than a North Pole iceberg.

For those people who like to be engaged in discussion and participate frequently, the middle is where it is at for you. This place is strategically located, well, in the middle. Usually the people who sit here like to come and talk in class. If you’re not afraid to share opinions or make friends and share jokes with your classmates, the middle of the classroom is full of people like you.

As for the front of the room, I never found anyone who actually sat in the front of the room. After studying many hours of television shows, however, I did determine that front row kids are usually nerds or people with bad eye sight.

Now another very important aspect of class is what you talk about with people. This is particularly important on the first day of class and usually it is best to stay away from the same lame and boring questions that everyone asks. What year and major someone is will not be quite as interesting of a conversation starter as certain other questions.

Tell a joke, talk about the Civil War, or use a super cheesy pick-up line on that cute person of the opposite sex you no doubt sat near. This will speed up the getting to know you process that usually takes about three to four weeks and establishes friends or enemies really quickly.

A new semester comes with a lot of promise and hope. Lots of new people to meet and bounce ideas off of and have fun with. Classes are all what you make them – boring, lame, and lonely, or fun, interesting, and friendly. The choice is yours. It’s all about who you want to be. Of course, if you choose wrong there are always more semesters – unless you’re a senior. In that case you’re basically screwed.

– Justan Spaid is a sophomore in history from McCallsburg.