When looking for story lines for the Super Bowl, you can find the obvious ones on SportsCenter. Both quarterbacks have won Super Bowls. Kurt Warner is old. Didn’t he work at a Hy-Vee in Iowa at one point?

But that’s all football related, and for one of the biggest parties in America, you’ve got to get a bigger audience. Fortunately, PETA has come to the rescue.

NBC has rejected the animal rights group’s latest ad, which was submitted to be aired during the Super Bowl. As PETA’s blog describes the ad, “[It] features a comely crop of models demonstrating their fondness for fresh produce.” NBC replied, saying the ad “depicts a level of sexuality exceeding our standards.” According to PETA, NBC said the following things, among others, would need to be axed to make it TV appropriate:

touching her breast with her hand while eating broccoli,

pumpkin from behind between legs,

rubbing pelvic region with pumpkin,

screwing herself with broccoli (fuzzy),

asparagus on her lap appearing as if it is ready to be inserted into vagina.

Best job in America: the NBC lawyer who writes that letter to PETA.

This isn’t an endorsement of vegetarianism any more than it’s an endorsement for having sex with broccoli (although, to be fair, at least you wouldn’t have to worry about HPV). But we think the rejection of the ad isn’t so much that it’s inappropriately sexy for primetime, family-time TV—it probably is—but because of the ad’s juxtaposition of sexiness and the absurd. It was cool when Paris Hilton got hot and heavy for a cheeseburger, and we can’t remember the last time anyone complained about a sexy beer ad, so maybe PETA’s just ahead of its time. Sexy vegetables could be just a few years down the road.

Aside from the ad’s entertainment value, it could be great for sex education. Suddenly, waves of kids are running off to their bedrooms to eat their vegetables. And kudos to PETA for moving beyond the old standards of cucumbers and zucchini.

PETA has put itself in a win-win situation. Let the ad play and PETA reaches millions; don’t let the ad play, save $3 million, and let the news networks talk about the rejection and play clips of your ad. If free publicity is what they wanted, then that’s what they’re getting. We’re happy to play their game.

Vegetables: second in the subversive department only to Janet Jackson’s nipple. If only the masses facing starvation in third world countries could see us now.