Rights and responsibilites define what it means to be a man.

“What does it mean to be a man or a woman? What defines it?” These were the questions Rasheed Ali Cromwell, founder and executive director of the Harbor institute, asked to a crowd of about 100 people.

“It’s all about personal development,” Cromwell said.

Cromwell went on to ask for volunteers in the crowd and ask them “at what age did you become a man or women?”

Answers varied, from starting college to losing parents.

Cromwell also talked about how people have good professional development, but “their personal development is a complete mess.”

Cromwell gave examples of how people look like men and women but the mindset is not quite there. An example that he used to prove his point was NBA player LeBron James, when he was being drafted after high school. He went on to explain how physically he was a man but mentally he was still in a teenage state of mind.

Cromwell said being a man or woman “comes with responsibilities and rights.”

Cromwell showed a picture of black men and women being sprayed with fire hoses during the Civil Rights movement.

“They had the responsibilities of citizens but didn’t have the rights,” he said.

When defining manhood and womanhood, you need both rights and responsibilities, Cromwell said.

Cromwell explained how people often get caught up in labels that they give themselves, which affect their personal development.

Cromwell went on to ask the audience what their values were. The crowd shouted out “family,” “education,” and other social organizations.

The majority of the crowd shouted out families.

“What happens when you get that $85,000 job, working 80 hours a week. Where does your family fall at in your values?” he asked the crowd.

Cromwell also said that people don’t know how to adapt in the professional world without changing themselves.

“That’s part of womanhood and manhood is learning how to adapt yourself consistently,” he said.

Cromwell gave an example to explain himself, he used NFL player Michael Vick, who pleaded guilty to federal charges of conspiracy to travel in inteerstate commerce in aid of unlawful activities, and sponsoring a dog in an animal fighting venture, in August 2007. Cromwell said Vick didn’t know how to adapt to his professional life.

Cromwell also said it’s common for people to let other people define what makes them a man or a woman. Another example he gave was when he said he did another workshop for at-risk teens, and a teenager in attendance of the workshop said his father had told him that he would have to go to jail to become a man. Cromwell went on to say, “it’s how we define oursleves.”