My fellow Cyclones,

As most everyone knows, this is Beat Iowa week. For me it is Beat Herky to a pulp week — he smells like belly button lint and is, well, pretty worthless — but you already knew that, so back to the subject.

A couple of months ago I was placed on the Capital One All-American Mascot Team with 11 other mascots from around the nation. As many of you know, this is a very prestigious honor in the realm of mascots. There is a contest between those on the team to become mascot of the year. I can only win this contest if I have your support. You have the opportunity to vote for me every day for the next 11 weeks. By doing this every day you will get me one step closer to the amazing title of Mascot of the Year.

Although I’ve had a lot of fun and made many great friends with the other mascots, I would love nothing more than to embarrass them through online defeat week after week. I need the students, faculty, staff and fans to vote, cheer and talk smack for me at www.capitalonebowl.com.

Each week I will be taking on a different mascot. Here is the low-down on each one:

Week 1: Smokey — University of Tennessee. Has asthma. Quite ironic, eh? Plus, in this day and age, we know that smoke is bad for you, so simply don’t vote for him. In this case, don’t do it for me — do it for the children.

Week 2: Aubie — Auburn University. You know how the Cheetos mascot Chester is “dangerously cheesy?” Well, Aubie is kind of like that, except he is just dangerously awkward. He’s that uncoordinated kid in your 8th grade class who always wanted to be the center of attention but really needed to be facing the corner the whole time.

Week 3: Buster Bronco — Boise State University. Don’t even get me started about this guy. Good grief! Imagine Mr. Ed crossed with Pee Wee Herman. Yeah, it’s that bad.

Week 4: Cosmo — Brigham Young University. Sure, we all love cougars, but guys, this is a different kind than what you’re used to. But don’t worry, his meow is pretty weak. He was the original voice-over for the Meow Mix cat food commercial.

Week 5: Thundar — North Dakota State University. This is the first buffalo I have ever seen with a mullet. I talked to him about it and he told me it’s still in style in North Dakota. I’m still really surprised — I didn’t see him at the state fair with that kind of hair-do.

Week 6: Joe Bruin — UCLA. This bear reminded me of Baloo from the Jungle Book. Not too quick — mentally or physically. Actually, he auditioned and got chafed sitting behind the tree for the Charmin Ultra toilet paper commercial. Turns out he needs the soft 2-ply. You’d better believe it.

Week 7: Mr. Wuf — North Carolina State University. He came to the commercial shoot with a limp. Turns out, he had just been neutered. And if you’ve seen a picture of him, it’s a good thing that gene pool has been dammed.

Week 8: The Bird — Air Force Academy. Wow, what an original name. You know how some birds try to fly too early and end up falling out of the nest? Well, The Bird’s mom just pushed him out. I guess that’s why she didn’t give him a real name: She didn’t want to get attached. He’s rather sensitive about it.

Week 9: Testudo — University of Maryland. Ever get stuck walking behind a really slow walker on campus? Yeah, he’s that guy.

Week 10: Mike — Louisiana State University. If you look closely, you will notice that he has no neck, only a gargantuan head. Evidently, there are no rules against steroids in this contest. He puts Barry Bonds’ noggin to shame.

Week 11: Cocky — University of South Carolina. I have to tell you, when we first saw each other, it was awkward. We are both big, red birds. The biggest difference was his obvious obesity, and I have a much larger beak … and feet. Yeah, you heard right. Big feet.

Here’s how to vote:

1. Go to www.capitalonebowl.com click “vote.”

2. Click on Cy and other mascots paired up.

3. Like shampoo, rinse and repeat daily.

It’s just that simple.

Thank you for all the support, and remember, we can if we believe and if we believe, Cy will be Mascot of the Year!

— Cy is a super senior in victory engineering from Ames.