After finishing unloading the contents of my mom’s Honda CR-V into my old RCA dorm room before my freshman year, my parents sent me on my way somewhat nonchalantly and quietly cheered their way back to the Twin Cities as they celebrated finally completing their 31-year sentence of having kids in their home. Their unintended lack of enthusiasm may have sprouted from the fact that I am their fifth kid to go to college. That makes it somewhat less of an accomplishment and more of an expectation.

But before I even thought about college, my siblings tried their best to convey to me the college life, and what to expect from it. Unfortunately, it wasn’t possible to give me everything I needed – some things I had to learn on my own. Here are a few things it took me four years of college education to figure out.

1. The university would rather lose money than let its students keep theirs.

This was an easy one. Everybody knows about the Veishea wristbands and how the weather was blamed on the poor turnout. But this happens on a much smaller scale every day. For instance, I recently needed to replace my broken ISU card. Unfortunately, I didn’t realize that the broken card was an old card that I had lost before and I had already paid $20 to replace it – and neither did the clerk at Beardshear. So, the clerk printed the new card, and was ready to hand it over to me when she noticed that the card I had given to her was the old card, and that I had to pay another $20 to replace it.

Needless to say I was not ready to hand over another $20 for a slim piece of red plastic that I was going to use probably for another three weeks.

But I wondered why she couldn’t just give me the card that was already printed and in working condition. And rather than giving me, for free, a card that she had already printed, she decided that if I didn’t want to pay for it, she would just cut it up and throw it away. And so she did. And the university lost the dollar or so that it took to print the card (as well as the labor costs for the nice lady at the desk), and I kept my old card which can still be entered manually into any ISU Dining location across campus – much to the dismay of those working there, of course (I can relate). Me – 1. Accounts receivable – 0.

2. The library is the worst place on campus to study.

I think the last time I did any academic-related activity here was for my Library 160 exam, which I failed (thank God for the homework). The library is like the rec center for nerds (like me). You let others around you know how mentally fit you are based on the amount of books and laptops that are spread around you, and then you flex your cerebral muscles while you stand insecurely in front of the mirror for 10 minutes before you realize that you aren’t actually exercising. It’s a great way to meet your significant other.

3. Ames is the worst college town. Ever.

Where do I begin? Ames and I seem to have a love-hate relationship.

On the one hand, it is cheap as hell to live here, but on the other hand, it sucks.

So what do you do? I know, I know, I chose to come to Iowa for school, but honestly, I didn’t think I would be coming to a town run by socialists who won’t even plow my roads in the winter. Whatever happened to the common good?

And the zoning in this town is ingenious. Put all the retail on one side of town, and have everyone live on the other.

Aren’t they trying to stop global warming?

OK, OK, so Ames isn’t all that bad. I mean, come on, we just got a Wal-Mart Supercenter, so at least the economy might actually start booming.

All in all, my college experience has been pleasurable, discouraging, enlightening and formidable, but it was definitely worth it. And for all of you who are listening to people tell you to be in college for as long as you can, take a look at your bank account, and then think again. The quicker you are out of college, the less you are in debt, the closer you are to making six figures. Think about it, and enjoy the rest of your college careers.

– Andy Gionnette is a senior in mechanical engineering from

Chanhassen, Minn.