Very funny, Moises Alou.

Almost five years after having a foul ball knocked away by Steve Bartman in game 6 of the 2003 National League Championship Series, it turns out the biggest scapegoat in the city of Chicago since the cursed goat wasn’t at fault after all.

According to Alou, that is.

“You know what the funny thing is?” Alou asked Associated Press columnist Jim Litke. “I wouldn’t have caught it anyway.”

Now you tell us.

It’s funny Alou should say that now, because right after the play he was hopping mad. The Cubs, as has been widely publicized, were only five outs away from their first World Series appearance since 1945. They were up three games to two over the Florida Marlins and ahead 3-0 in the top of the eighth inning.

Luis Castillo then hit a foul ball that changed history. Left fielder Alou ran to the left-field line and timed a leap into the stands that appeared to put him in perfect position to make the catch before Bartman, sitting in the front row, reached his hand up and knocked it away. Alou then jumped up and down in anger.

The Cubs ended up blowing the inning, game and series like only a Chicago Cubs team could, and the Cubs Nation almost immediately jumped on the Blame Steve Bartman bandwagon, forcing Bartman to essentially go into hiding.

To blame any part of Chicago’s collapse in that series on Bartman is completely and utterly unfair. Put yourself in that position, and I’m pretty sure at least nine out of 10 people would have done the same thing, by my unscientific estimates.

But imagine how much grief Alou could have saved the poor man by coming out with this revelation after the game.

Instead, Alou had a different account of the events on that fateful October night.

“I timed it perfectly, I jumped perfectly. I’m almost 100 percent that I had a clean shot to catch the ball,” Alou said after the game. “All of a sudden, there’s a hand on my glove.”

That doesn’t sound like the words of someone who “wouldn’t have caught it anyway.”

What it does sound like is someone who’s tired of fielding questions about the play and tired of hearing about it from fans everywhere he goes.

Maybe Alou realizes he overreacted. Maybe his newest statement will help the nation and the city of Chicago forgive Bartman, and deservedly so.

But why the change of heart? Why was he so sure during and after the game that he would have caught it, but all of a sudden- five years later -he changes his story?

Looking at old footage and photos of the play in question, it sure looks like Alou was in perfect position to make the catch. It seems pretty clear, to me at least, that Alou was telling the truth in the beginning and is blatantly lying now.

If it helps clear the name of Steve Bartman, more power to him. The man’s name is a walking punch line, a highlight preserved to be shown whenever the Cubs are on national television. No matter what job he applies for or what area of the country he moves to, he will almost certainly be immediately recognized for that one split-second reaction.

That’s not funny. That’s just unfortunate.

– Kyle Oppenhuizen is a junior in journalism and mass communication from Pella.