Nytol, a sleep aid, “may cause drowsiness.” The Dremel Electric Rotary Tool is also would like you to know it is “not intended for use as a dental drill.” Bowl Fresh announces it is “Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommended that either be permitted to drink from toilet.”

You don’t say.

Speaking of “crazy” labels, here’s a hilarious one: Smoking seriously harms you and others around you. Better yet, Smoking causes fatal lung cancer. Or my personal favorite: Smoking kills you.

While we all have had a good laugh at the stupidity of lawyer-generated warning labels for products like toilet bowl cleaner, informing people about the health risks of smoking is a delicate matter. How do you tell people the product they are using is the most common catalyst for lung cancer?

In the United States, surgeon general’s warnings are fairly easy to ignore. Usually, they are in small black and white type on the back of the package, saying “Cigarette Smoking Contains Carbon Monoxide,” or “Smoking By Pregnant Women May Result in Fetal Injury, Premature Birth, And Low Birth Weight.” Thus, if you aren’t pregnant or into chemistry, skimming over a few lines directed toward such readers is second nature.

Here in Ireland, the European Union doesn’t mess around with chemicals or specific situations. In large bold black letters, taking up nearly half of every cigarette box, warnings proclaim that “Smoking may reduce the blood flow and cause impotence,” or more blatantly, “Smoking kills. Don’t start.” Each label is found on both sides of the box in a typeface larger than the brand name itself.

To risk a bad pun, perhaps their warning system might be an overkill. Even with this additional “knowledge,” however, smoking still holds a strong grip over Europe. Despite a smoking ban in Cork, before hitting the clubs most of my Irish friends insist upon lighting up.

“Do ye want a fag?” someone always asks.

“No, thanks, but I don’t smoke,” I respond.

“Oh, isn’t that cute! Tanya, do ye remember before we smoked?” smiles a girl two years my junior.

Honestly, there is nothing “cute” about being heath-conscious – that’s like saying it’s sexy to wash your hands before you eat.

Seeing these 19-year-old girls smoke through a pack of Marlboros, I can’t help but wonder if their first package also read, “Smoking is highly addictive. Don’t start.”

As most non-smokers have wondered, I have to ask: Why people would start smoking in the first place?

It’s deadly, killing nearly one in 10 adults globally, according to 2002 statistics by the World Health Organization. This number should grow to one in six by 2030, if the trend continues.

It’s expensive and getting taxed more each day.

It’s inconvenient, as Iowa recently followed many other states, and the better part of the European Union, in banning smoking in public places.

It’s icky, in the words of my stellar roommate, who says she’d never date a smoker.

Let’s face it – logically, there is no good reason to smoke. But since when has life ever happened logically?

Finals, internships, jobs, marriages, finances, divorces, children, war, rape, death – we often are faced with stressors that have no easy answers or logical solutions.

If there existed a surefire way to ease insecurity before a party, would you do it? What about something to take the edge off that exam you just failed? Or a way to finally quell flashbacks to a past you’d rather forget?

Certainly, we all would take this opportunity, even if it cost us $3.64 per pack.

And yes, smoking is gross, but smokers are often the most brilliant, lovable, witty, artistic people we all know. And I’m sure they are fully aware that smoking kills, and no warning will shock them into quitting.

The problem of smoking is that, initially, it creates a temporary solution to deep, personal problems. By the time this fix has worn off, however, a deadly addiction has blossomed in its place, leaving smokers little room to quit.

Smoking may contain carbon monoxide, but it also robs us of the opportunity to face our insecurities, shortcomings and tragedies. It may even take our life.

I’m sure the United States would put that on our warning label too, but we wouldn’t want to state the obvious. Oh, and incase you wondered, cups from Starbucks may contain a hot beverage. Go figure.

– Julie Young is a senior in psychology from Indianola. She is studying in Cork, Ireland, this semester.