Apparently there was a GSB election a couple of weeks ago. Yeah, don’t worry. I forgot, too. The only reason I know this is because I was perusing the sidewalks for inscriptions when I came across campaign ads done in sidewalk chalk found in the toy section at your neighborhood Wal-Mart. The last time I saw an effective use of sidewalk chalk for these elections was when someone wrote “GSB” on the trash cans around campus.

And, of course, there is the mudslinging. Like the stunts pulled by the cronies that are hired by each set of candidates when they are sent to vandalize the other guys’ – and in one case girl’s – sidewalk advertisements. Usually the perpetrator will dig deep in his or her arsenal and cross out the other guys’ names and put whom they are supporting. Oh, man, it’s on.

But that really sums up the Government of the Student Body, doesn’t it – a bunch of little kids running around with sidewalk chalk with a false sense of responsibility? It’s kind of like when you were 4 and your parents gave you a plastic steering wheel and had you believing that you were actually driving the car. Because what does GSB really do besides give money to clubs who should be supporting themselves anyway? So while GSB is easily replaceable by an ATM, it continues to function, dealing away student activity fees to nice folks like those at the unicycle club – but no offense, I really don’t care about unicycling.

Don’t get me wrong. As much as I would like to see GSB disbanded, it would be even more rewarding if our “representative” government would actually represent us. For starters, it could raise student awareness by, well, making students more aware of what they actually do. I joke, but as far as most students are concerned – at least the ones that know that it exists – GSB hands out cash. And that’s it. But when GSB does more than that, it would be nice to know on a massive scale. Perhaps a widely distributed newsletter telling of their accomplishments could help bring an end to the fa‡ade.

And after all, doesn’t GSB already do more? Just listen to what the Web site has to say – since it’s safe to say you haven’t read this before. Besides funding, GSB says it’s involved with campus projects and initiatives – meaning that they pass resolutions dealing with generic emotional issues such as diversity and tolerance among ISU students.

Sometimes policies are even put into place that go further than resolutions, such as the Principles of Community, “which is a set of recommendations to help make Iowa State a more diverse an welcoming community” and consist of six ideals – respect, purpose, cooperation, freedom from discrimination, honest and restful expression of ideas, and richness of diversity – each of which have a short explanation following. Do we really need a student government to instill these values? Isn’t that what parents are for?

The fact is, GSB is an enigmatic organization, slipping in and out of partnerships with groups like Veishea, the new voter’s project, Got Ignorance? and ActivUs – and giving money to groups who don’t need it. If GSB wishes to see a greater turnout in the polls – although it did see a dramatic increase from last year, due in part to the fact that there was more than one slate running – then they had better start to at least try giving us a head’s up on what – if anything – they actually do.

– Andrew Gionnette is a senior in mechanical engineering from Chanhassen, Minn.