Let’s ask ourselves a question. Let’s say you are a woman (guys, you can pretend) and pregnant. But you are concerned about your impact on the environment, as well as your future offsprings’ environmental impact. So what do you do? How about an abortion?

That’s the solution that a number of women have come across. Women are now going through sterilization procedures, and in some cases even aborting their pregnancies, in order to reduce their carbon footprint.

According to a report from the Daily Mail, Toni Vernelli of the United Kingdom would rather believe she is saving the planet than procreate. That’s why she decided to be sterilized at age 27 and why she killed her unborn child. After all, she believes that “having children is selfish,” as she told the Daily Mail, because “it’s all about maintaining your genetic line at the expense of the planet.”

OK.

Somehow, this woman managed to combine two arguments – of which I have grown intolerant – into one super-illogical argument. In her mind, unborn humans are expendable and don’t deserve the right to live because having too many children will have an adverse effect on the Earth’s climate.

If there was an award for “Biggest Moron in the Universe,” then I would probably nominate her. Because, regardless of what your views on this whole “imminent environmental doom” thing are, you can’t help but question the logic – or lack thereof – behind such an eco-friendly birth-control plan. It’s apparent that this woman really loves her earth – enough to abort her own child so the planet can live another day. But even questioning this woman’s thought process is enough to make you forget how to sit down. So, after careful deliberation and an attempt to dumb myself down by force-feeding myself episodes of “The Daily Show,” it was possible for me to gain a decent understanding of what was going on inside her head: This woman wanted to save the planet for future generations by preventing a part of the future generations from living.

I’m not sure whether I should be upset that a human being’s life was taken away or ecstatic that the offspring of such a brilliant group of individuals is being prevented from living a day on the planet that they have been sacrificed for. If living on Earth is truly selfish, then it is a wonder that these couples have not yet taken their own lives. After all, their parents did not have the audacity to abort these children when they were in the womb.

No matter what you do, you are giving off carbon dioxide. Hell, even after you die, your decomposing body gives off the greenhouse gas. So if you aren’t ready for a child and you are feeling green, then it looks like abortion and sterilization is the answer to your problems. After all, why should we respect a child’s life when the person that child will become may raise the mean surface temperature a fraction of a degree?

– Andrew Gionnette is a senior

in mechanical engineering from Chanhassen, Minn.