It has been about eight weeks since the beginning of classes and many students are discovering their roommate assignments, and choices are not quite as they envisioned.

Tessa Sklenar, sophomore in psychology, said she had a less-than-adequate roommate situation after her roommate would not follow rules for cleanliness.

“Our apartment is so unsanitary; it always smells bad,” Sklenar said. “When I go to the bathroom, I am more uncomfortable than when I am in a Porta-Potty. My mom would not put up with the way [my roommate] lives.”

Sklenar said it is a hard situation to adjust to a new roommate, but living with a person who is not necessarily willing to compromise is difficult.

“It just adds all this unnecessary stress,” Sklenar said. “It seems that she doesn’t care about the situation and it makes it hard when she is not willing to change and work with us.”

Ashley Boell, junior in interior design, also had an experience with a bad roommate when her roommate was not considerate of her wanting a quiet studying environment.

“At times I got really frustrated and most times I had to leave the room just to study,” Boell said. “I constantly had to remind her of how inconsiderate she was being.”

Boell remembers the main problems that existed were the volume levels of the television and music, and having guys over without her consent.

“She was very inconsiderate in inappropriate ways,” Boell said. “She would change, but a couple of days later she would go back to her old ways.”

Boell did eventually talk to a community adviser about her situation, and the roommate struggles were settled enough to continue living there.

Stephanie Zywicki, residence hall coordinator and Upper Friley Hall director, has dealt with many conflicting roommates looking for a solution.

“It is typically because the situation has become so out of control,” Zywicki said. “It is often because students don’t seek out help soon enough and feel they are at their wit’s end.”

Zywicki suggests that if roommates realize something is not working out, it is better to find a way to solve the problem before the situation escalates, since it is difficult to fix months of frustration.

“That instant bond that happens is fabulous, but it doesn’t always happen that way,” Zywicki said. “Conflict is a natural part of life.”

Students sometimes find their situation beyond repair, and they sit down with a CA to work out a compromise. When the situation is still not resolved, that is where the hall directors come in.

Zywicki said when students come in to her, they are told to write down what concerns they have. She then addresses the problems individually and in a group to help the roommates come to a compromise.

“Confrontation is not easy for anyone, but roommates cannot read your mind – so you need to tell them what would help you in your space,” Zywicki said.

Sklenar found it helped to write a letter to her roommate to point out her concerns. She was able to lay out the existing problems, highlighting what she hoped to change in the living environment of the apartment.

Since things were still not becoming better, Sklenar went to a higher authority to deal with the rising situation.

“They need to verbalize issues which they can compromise and not compromise; what is fair and applicable to that living space,” Zywicki said. “We need to find out what resolution looks like to them and the reality of it so that both of them can feel like their needs are being met.”

Sklenar felt having someone sit down with her and her roommates was helpful in trying to find a compromise.

“She was devoted to help us feel comfortable where we live, which is nice,” Sklenar said.

Zywicki stated many students have never had to share a space with anyone and mentally put together how roommate life is going to be before. Conflict then arises because one of them is violating the other’s sense of what is acceptable.

Zywicki said compromise is the only way students can continue to live with each other.

“Resolution is for both, in order to feel comfortable, safe and in a place where they can academically succeed,” Zywicki said.

Sometimes one or both roommates decide it is best to move out and change rooms, Zywicki said.

“Conflict will occur. It is how we handle it whether or not it is a positive or negative experience,” Zywicki said. “But there is a sense of accomplishment that comes from resolving issues with someone. It is a great skill to have.”